


A Fire Running Wild

by lennab



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-02-26 04:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 41,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2638646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lennab/pseuds/lennab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Alex never got caught and she and Piper never went to prison?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first ever published fic. I have written a lot before but never had the guts to actually post it somewhere. Also, English is not my first language so I apologize for possible stupid mistakes. Please do let me know what you think, so I know if I'm wasting my time here or not! (PS be honest, not rude. Thanks!)

“Sweetie, is there any chance our wedding could take place in a grocery store Upstate?” Larry asked, one hand covering his phone. Piper looked up from the salad she was making.

“What?”

“You know that buddy of mine who runs that small town papers? He says he will publish me regularly if I write an article about our wedding in a grocery store. He says it’s original,” he rolled his eyes and tried to hide his laugh.

“But why the grocery store?” Piper asked, confused.

“Oh, his brother owns the place and he thinks it would be good for the business.”

“And that’s in the same town?” Piper lifted her eyebrows and Larry nodded. “It has like three people living there, why do they need an ad in the local paper?”

Larry chuckled quietly and shrugged. “Fuck do I know,” he mouthed.

“You know what, Greg?” Larry said to the phone and left the kitchen. “She said no but if I can write anything…”

Piper was left alone again which at least gave her time to focus on what she had been cooking. She was making a fancy dinner for her best friend Polly and her husband Pete to celebrate her and Larry’s engagement. They had already celebrated it in a bar two weeks ago but that didn’t end up well for the guys, they probably didn’t remember much of it. Especially Larry, since he was the one who suggested the celebration dinner party.

Piper went with it for Larry who had been feeling a little tense lately because he couldn’t find a decent job and he could use any distraction there was. This time Piper was determined no one would end up wrestling with a street lamp – Pete –, no one would start singing karaoke in a bar without karaoke – Pete – and no one would throw up – Larry. Polly was pregnant and Piper, trying to be a supportive friend, decided not to drink so Polly wouldn’t feel left out. Piper missed a good margarita, especially at times like that when she had to deal with drunk Larry. It was much more fun dealing with your drunk fiancé and friends when you were also drunk.

Larry returned from the living room, put his cell on the kitchen counter and sat at the bar stool facing Piper.

“So I didn’t get the job,” he announced.

“I’m so sorry,” Piper said and looked at him. “But I can’t have a wedding in a grocery store in Redneck’s County.”

“Yeah, it’s okay, me neither,” Larry shrugged with a smile. “Want me to help?”

“I’m good, thanks,” she said, cutting the vegetables for the salad. “No, wait, actually, could you check on the meat in the oven?”

“Sure,” he said as he got up, walked around the counter and bent down to the oven. “It’s getting brown… -ish.”

“Alright,” Piper looked over her shoulder and then decided the meat was done, so Larry turned off the oven and left the meat to finish off. Then he returned to his bar stool. They chatted for a bit while Piper cut the vegetables.

“Damn it,” Piper mumbled in a mid-sentence, suddenly remembering she forgot to buy Polly’s favorite apple juice.

“What?” Larry asked, looking a bit alarmed.

“I forgot the damn apple juice.”

“It’s okay, I can go get it,” Larry offered, already up again but Piper stopped him.

“No, you don’t know which one. The baby only allows her to drink one special kind, apparently,” Piper sighed, looking at her watch. It was only six, they were supposed to come in an hour.

“I’ll go get it,” she said finally with another annoyed sigh. “Could you please finish the salad?”

“Can you trust me with it?” Larry asked jokingly, walking towards her. He put his hands on her hips and Piper had to smile. Larry was actually a great cook, surprisingly, but she didn’t like him in the kitchen when it was her turn. She liked things her way.

“I believe in you, honey,” Piper breathed out before kissing him lightly on the lips.

“Besides, you can’t screw up anything in a salad,” she added with a smirk.

Larry pretended to look offended until she kissed him again, this time wrapping her arms around his neck. When she pulled away, she gently stroke his cheek and smiled.

“Thank you,” she said and went to the bedroom to find her purse. She heard Larry laughing behind her saying she was indeed welcome.

 

Piper knew she looked pretty much like crap. She managed to do her make up before she started cooking, at least, but she wore her old ripped jeans and an even older plain denim shirt that was probably full of stains but Piper was afraid to look at it in the mirror when she left the apartment, so she just hid it with a simple grey leather jacket. Her hair was even a bigger mess than the shirt, she felt the hair sticking out in every direction, until she couldn’t bare it anymore and stopped in an abandoned aisle at the grocery story to retrieve a hair tie from her purse.

When she finally felt better about the hair, she could focus on finding Polly’s stupid apple juice. She had to go through an aisle with alcoholic beverages first and her eyes landed on a big sign that said “70% SALE”. It was for a margarita mix and Piper had to laugh to herself against her own will. She picked up the bottle, looking at it. She could drink when she wasn’t with Polly. It’s not like Polly would find out. She was about to put the bottle in her basket when she heard someone behind her.

“It’s a little cold out for a margarita, don’t you think?” a more than a familiar husky voice said. Only hearing it made Piper freeze, her hand half way to the basket. If she were in a cartoon, she could see her hair standing up again in horror. She felt her heart beating like crazy, like she had just met a ghost. She might as well have.

Piper slowly managed to turn around to see her. She was immediately struck by her presence, just like she had been the first time she had met her with the exact same opening line. It was the ghost of her past that Piper managed to block completely out of her mind. The ghost was named Alex Vause.

She was standing there, smug smile on her lips, dressed almost all in black and she was as tall and gorgeous as ever. Her black hair was a little shorter than Piper remembered and they were missing the blue strands. Other than that, the woman had not changed at all.

Piper was left absolutely speechless, breathing heavily and staring at Alex like an idiot. Alex, on the other hand, looked as confident as always. Piper knew her well, though, and just by looking into her eyes she saw right through her mask. She knew Alex was just as shocked to see her as she was. Alex was just better at hiding it.

“Alex,” Piper finally managed to say with a cracked voice. She had to clear her throat to continue. “What are… What are you doing here?”

“Shopping,” Alex answered, lifting her left eyebrow. “That’s what people do in grocery stores.”

Her voice sounded a little off. Distant. Hostile even. Piper wasn’t used to that from her and she was taken aback by it.

“Right,” Piper shook her head to clear it. “No. I meant what are you doing in this neighborhood?”

“Visiting…” she hesitated for a second. “A friend. You?”

“I live here, just around the corner actually,” Piper explained, suddenly feeling self-conscious in her shitty home outfit in front of Alex, who looked pretty much flawless and perfectly put together. Very much the opposite of what Piper felt like at that moment.

“It’s a good… neighborhood,” Alex mumbled, revealing that she was nervous too for the first time in the brief conversation. She looked down, adjusted her glasses on her nose and then looked back at Piper. “I sure did not expect to see you here.”

“Right back at you,” Piper nodded and their eyes met for a short moment.

Piper had always felt so guilty about what she had done to Alex. That she had left her when she needed her the most. When her mother died. Piper thought – she knew – she was making the right choice because she couldn’t get caught up in Alex’s illegal bullshit any more than she already had but that didn’t mean she didn’t love her. The day she left Alex in Paris, she didn’t only break Alex’s heart but her own, too. And at that moment, when she was staring down those grey-green eyes, she saw it. She saw the pain in her eyes when she looked at her. She saw again how much she had hurt her. She knew eight years wasn’t enough to forget it for Alex. It wasn’t enough to get over it. And it was then when she realized she wasn’t over it either.

They were interrupted by Alex’s phone buzzing in her jeans pocket. Neither of them noticed it at first but then Alex suddenly woke up, breaking the eye contact and reached inside her pocket for her phone. She looked at the screen and pressed her lips together before looking up at Piper again.

“I’m running late,” Alex said. “I have to…”

“Yeah,” Piper nodded more actively than she needed to. “Sure, go.”

Alex inhaled deeply, as if collecting all her confidence to put on the cool act again. Then she half-smiled, adjusting her glasses.

“It’s good seeing you again, kid.”

“You, too,” Piper exhaled.

After that, Alex turned around, picked up the phone that was still ringing and swiftly disappeared between the aisles. Piper stared after her for a good minute before she decided she couldn’t just let it end here. She needed a closure with Alex and from the woman’s eyes, she knew she would welcome one, too. She put her basket and the bottle of margarita on the ground, just leaving it there, and quickly walked after Alex. She wasn’t at the cashier, so Piper assumed she had already gone out. She left the store, cautiously followed by the eyes of one of the cashiers.

Out on the street, she looked around and saw Alex’s tall figure not more than a block away walking in the exact opposite direction from her apartment. She ran after her and when she was close enough, she called out her name. The brunette immediately stopped and turned around. Piper slowed down to a quick pace.

“Alex, I can’t leave this like that,” she said as soon as she was next to her. Good thing about her morning jogs was that she wasn’t now out of breath even after that short sprint. Alex didn’t say anything, her face was suddenly unreadable, even for Piper.

“I can’t just randomly run into you and act like you’re just another… I don’t know, elementary school classmate or whatever. Like when you say ‘Oh my gosh, so great to see you again’ while you’re thinking ‘Fuck off, bitch’. I can’t do that, it’s not how I… I know you probably still hate me. I’m surprised you haven’t punched me in the face yet,” Piper tried to joke and Alex finally cracked a little, smiling against the pavement. “I just want to talk. That’s all.”

Alex stared at her for a while and Piper almost wanted to give up and walk away but then Alex finally talked.

“Are you free tomorrow at noon?” she asked.

“Yeah, I can make time,” Piper nodded, knowing well she had an important meeting with the people from Barney’s but completely blanking on it at that moment.

“Great, you know Little Paul’s? It’s like two blocks from here.”

“Yeah, I know it. Meet you there tomorrow?”

“Okay,” Alex nodded and was about to walk away before stopping herself. She looked at Piper and smiled, this time almost completely honestly. “For the record, it _was_ good seeing you today.”

With that, she turned around and walked away. Piper stood there, again staring after her. She wasn’t sure if she had made the right choice because she was more than aware of the effect Alex had had on her in the past. She just hoped she could finally get the proper closure they both deserved.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the silence means that you guys liked it so far. Still, would love to hear your thoughts or comments. Thanks for reading!

It was nearly seven when Piper got back home. Larry was already waiting for her at the door, hugging her tightly the second she came in. She completely forgot about Larry. About the dinner. About everything. She just walked around the neighborhood in a desperate attempt to clear her head.

“Oh, my god, I was starting to worry,” Larry said, letting go of her. “I called you like five times. Where were you? It’s almost seven.”

“What?” Piper asked, surprised to hear the information. “I had to… Forget my phone here…”

“Are you okay?” Larry asked, worriedly checking her with his eyes. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Huh?” Piper looked at him, not sure of what he was saying. She couldn’t bring herself to listen, her head still full of Alex. Alex. Even thinking that name in front of him felt wrong.

“I said you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Larry repeated, taking Piper’s purse and putting it on the table in the hall. He led her to the kitchen and made her sit on the stool.

 _I have_ , Piper thought. _I’ve seen a ghost and I’ve talked to her._

“I’m fine,” she managed to say, her mouth suddenly all dry and her voice cracked.

“You sure?” Larry was rubbing her shoulder. “Can I get you some water?”

“Yeah, please,” she nodded distantly. Larry went to the fridge and handed her a small bottle of water. He opened it for her. Piper took a tiny sip, then put the bottle on the counter next to her.

“Better.”

“Yeah? Good,” he said, taking her hands. “So what happened? Something happened.”

“Uh,” Piper hesitated. _I met my ex-girlfriend you have never heard of before and made plans with her for tomorrow lunch. Oh, by the way, she’s an international drug trafficker._ Piper knew she couldn’t say that to Larry. She tried to quickly come up with a lie.

“I-I saw a… crime,” she blurted out. “I mean I witnessed a crime.”

“What? Oh, my god, did they rob the grocery store while you were there?” Larry asked all alarmed, tightening the grip on her hands a little.

“Yes,” Piper nodded and then realized Larry could easily find out that was a lie the next time he went there, so she shook her head. “I mean no. No, I saw, uh… a guy ran over some lady and drove away.”

“Oh, god, was she okay?”

“Who?”

“The lady who got run over,” Larry looked at her suspiciously.

“Right, no, yeah, she just broke her arm,” Piper said the first thing that came to her mind and then tried to look traumatized. “It was terrible.”

“I know, but it’s okay now. Nobody died, you’re fine, you’re home,” Larry attempted to comfort her. She went in for the offered hug and hid her lying face in his shoulder. She felt terrible about lying to him but at the same time she knew she couldn’t tell him the truth. It was something she would rather hide from him forever and pretend it never happened. Not even her family knew about Alex or where Piper really had been the entire year they travelled together. The only one who knew about it was…

“Polly,” Piper whispered and Larry pulled away to look at her questioningly.

“And Pete,” Piper added quickly. “Polly and Pete will be here any minute. Oh, god, I’m not ready, the dinner’s…”

“The dinner’s ready, I took care of it,” Larry said, pointing at the bowl of salad standing on the dining table. “You see? Did you get the juice?”

“No,” Piper suddenly remembered she didn’t even finish her shopping. “No, I got too distracted by the accident.”

“It’s okay, honey, we’ll give her some water,” Larry waved his hand. “Do you want to get changed before they come?”

“Shit,” Piper realized she still looked like a piece of crap. “Yeah, I’ll go change. Thanks.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

 

Polly and Pete came exactly at seven while Piper was still fixing herself up in the bedroom. She heard the friendly voices out in the hall, so she peaked out through the door.

“Piper, hey!” Polly greeted her and Pete joined.

“Hi, guys,” Piper mumbled, looking at Polly. “Listen, can I talk to you for a bit in here? I need your help with something.”

“Sure,” Polly looked at Pete unsure of what was happening. Pete made a turtle face, shrugged and followed Larry into the living room.

“Thanks. We’ll be right with you, guys,” Piper called after them, taking Polly’s hand and dragging her into the bedroom.

“Oh, it’s your hair, isn’t it?” Polly asked when Piper closed the door. “Honey, I don’t know if I can do something about _that_ but I’ll try.”

“What? No!” Piper shook her head. Her voice was shaking. “Sit down, I need to tell you something.”

Polly obeyed and sat down on the bed, resting her hands on her pregnant belly. She seemed a little confused and alarmed, and Piper guessed it was because of the way she must’ve looked – shocked, distraught and, given her hair, probably crazy.

“You’re scaring me a bit now. What’s going on?” Polly asked frowning, almost as if expecting the answer.

“I saw Alex today,” Piper said and Polly’s jaw dropped down.

“Please tell me you’re talking about Alex Turner and not _the_ Alex.”

“I ran into her at the grocery store,” Piper continued, ignoring that reply.

“Holy fuck, Piper.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you speak to her?”

“I did,” Piper nodded and sat down next to Polly.

“Well, what did you say? What did she say?”

“Well, she was busy, so we decided to meet later to talk,” Piper looked up at Polly, expecting the angry reaction.

“What the fuck? Why would you ever want to talk to her again?”

“I’m the bad guy in this one, Polly,” Piper reminded her. “Besides, we need a proper closure. I hurt her a lot, she deserves at least that.”

“Piper, walking out on her and saying ‘We’re done’ is a good enough closure for anyone. You don’t owe her anything.”

“No, I do. She needed me and I left her. When her mother died, I left her alone in fucking Paris,” Piper whispered the last sentence, staring at her hands.

“Alright, so you feel bad for hurting her, yeah? I may not know the full story but I sure as hell know that you had a reason to break up with her in the first place. You told me yourself!”

“You’re right,” Piper said defensively. “You don’t know the whole thing. I didn’t break up with her because I stopped caring about her.”

“No, I know, but…”

“And when I saw her today, I realized I at least owed her an apology.”

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Piper,” Polly shook her head. “Meeting with exes is always like playing with fire but meeting with her? It’s like you’re lighting a cigarette while swimming in gasoline.”

“Maybe.”

“Does Larry know?”

“No. He doesn’t know anything about Alex. He doesn’t know she even exists.”

“This is going to backfire, Piper,” Polly said.

“No, it’s none of his business. And it’s not like I’m going to lunch with her tomorrow to get back together. I have Larry. I’m finally happy. I don’t want to screw that up.”

“Well,” Polly sighed. “I hope you know what… Wait, did you say lunch with her _tomorrow_?”

“Yeah?”

“Tomorrow we have to meet the Barney’s people, remember? Big business meeting at one?”

“Oh, fuck! I totally forgot.”

“Yeah, so you better call _Supercunt_ and tell her you can’t make it tomorrow.”

“Stop calling her that,” Piper shot her a mean look. “And I can’t, I don’t have her number.”

“Good god, then just stand her up, Piper. This is our break, okay? We can’t miss this opportunity.”

“I know,” Piper nodded, hiding her face in her palms. “I know. Shit.”

Polly put her hand on Piper’s back, trying to comfort her. Piper then got a terrible idea. The worst, actually. She looked up at Polly who, knowing what Piper was going to say, immediately shook her head and jumped up to her feet. Well, more like slowly stood up because of her big baby bump.

“No. No fucking way, Piper. You’re not leaving me in this one.”

“Polly, please,” Piper got up as well. “This is very important to me.”

“No, nah-ah, I’m not going to that meeting alone just so you could reunite with your ex.”

“Girls, the dinner’s on the table!” Larry’s voice came from the kitchen and Piper looked desperately into Polly’s eyes.

“Please, Polly, I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important.”

“What about PoPi? That’s not important to you?”

“Girls?” Larry’s voice said much closer to the bedroom.

“Coming!” Piper shouted angrily back, then returned to Polly who was still aggressively shaking her head.

“Of course PoPi is important to me! But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t go face her.”

“This is such a stupid idea, Piper, don’t you see? I’m telling you, whatever you’re expecting to come out from this meeting of yours – it won’t end well. Especially when you throw our business under the bus in the process.”

“It can’t be worse than it already is,” Piper whispered, gaping down on the floor.

“Ugh,” Polly rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. “Fine. I’ll deal with Barney’s alone.”

“Really?” Piper looked up, joy in her eyes.

“Yeah,” Polly said with another annoyed sigh. “But I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I do. Thank you, Pol,” Piper hugged her. “You’re the best. I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Polly patted her back and pulled away. “I hate you right now. I hate you for making me do this.”

“I know,” Piper smiled just as Larry came into the room.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“Dealing with your _fiancé’s_ hair,” Polly stressed the word fiancé with a significant look aimed at Piper which only made her feel even guiltier than before.

“Well, I think it looks pretty,” Larry said, coming closer to Piper for a kiss. She gave him a quick peck. “And I also think Pete and I are pretty hungry, so can we go eat now?”

“Yes, sure, let’s eat,” Piper nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

For the rest of the evening, Polly had been shooting mean glances in Piper’s direction but neither of the guys seemed to have noticed. They didn’t talk about Alex again, but when Larry brought up the fictional car accident that Piper supposedly witnessed, she and Polly exchanged a serious look. Piper felt like a small child that broke a window or something, afraid to tell her parents – in this case Larry – about it. Polly was constantly scowling at her, especially when she lied her ass off about the accident. When Polly and Pete left couple hours later, she felt relieved. Larry tried to make the rest of their evening romantic but Piper cut him off by telling him she was still shaken by the traumatic experience and they went to sleep pretty early.

 

The next day, when Piper woke up, her first thought went to Alex. _This is the day I’m going to see Alex Vause again._ She had obviously seen her yesterday, but this was different. She was going to have an actual conversation with her. She was going to deal with her troubled past and saying she was nervous about it was a major understatement.

Piper decided the best way to fight her nerves was to fix herself up and look and feel pretty, unlike yesterday when she looked like garbage. She spent at least two hours in the bathroom, trying to make herself look her best. Larry, who didn’t have to go to work because he didn’t have an actual job, woke up in the middle of her beautifying process and questioned her about it. Piper said it’s for the Barney’s meeting and even managed to scold Larry for not remembering today was the big day. Then she regretted it because she was afraid Polly might blurt out to Pete or even Larry that she had to go to the meeting alone. But then again, what was Piper going to say to Larry? _I’m trying to look hot in front of my ex-girlfriend whom I’m also meeting for lunch today?_

At eleven, Piper was already ready to go. She put on a simple outfit that consisted of tight black pants, Larry’s favorite, a white business-looking top and a nice black jacket. She chose to go for high heels, because she didn’t want to be shorter than Alex this time, and added a few golden accessories. She paused in front of the mirror in the bedroom for one last time, noticing the engagement ring on her left hand. She touched it and played with it for a while, circling it around her finger before she decided it was best to take it off. She didn’t want to tell Alex she was engaged. She didn’t want her to get mad and run before she could even apologize.

Piper took the ring off and went back to the bathroom, putting it on the sink so she could have an excuse for Larry in case he noticed she wasn’t wearing it. She was always taking it off for the night, leaving it on the sink and putting it back on the first thing it the morning.

“Wow,” Larry said when she came into the living room where he was working on whatever he was just writing. “You look beautiful.”

“You think?” Piper asked but she was pretty confident in her looks this time. She had done her make-up in a fierce-menacing sort of look.

“Yeah, you look like you’re going to eat them alive if they don’t give you the deal,” Larry laughed. “You’re going to do just great today, sweetie.”

“Right,” Piper mumbled, feeling a sting of guilt towards Larry. It wasn’t fair to him, lying about this. But Piper felt telling the truth wouldn’t be fair to him either. She was afraid if Larry had known the story behind Alex, he would just run away from her as fast as he could. She considered telling him only parts of her history with Alex, something like she did with Polly. With way less details about their sex life, of course. But even if Piper told Larry only that she had dated a woman – leaving out everything; how much she loved her, how long they were together, Alex’s job, the reason she left her – even then she wasn’t exactly sure of what his reaction would be. Probably something like: “ _So you went through a lesbian phase after college? That’s cool._ ”

Even imagining his potential answer, Piper suddenly wanted to punch him in the face. Alex wasn’t just a phase, was she? Over the years, she tried to convince herself that it wasn’t real, that it was just a post-college adventure, and for a while, she honestly believed it.

But seeing Alex yesterday, it’s like all of that was gone and she was reminded how much Alex once meant to her. Not that she wanted her back, her memory wasn’t that bad. She remembered well why they broke up and she wouldn’t want to get caught up in that mess again. On the other hand, she also knew she couldn’t just leave Alex thinking the worst of her. Piper would feel terrible if she at least didn’t try to apologize. Bitter memories or not, there was also a lot of good ones, ones that deserved a better ending than the one they had.

And all that is why she kept it a secret in front of Larry. He would freak out, they would fight and everything would be all messed up and complicated. Besides, it wasn’t like Piper was going to start hanging out with Alex after this lunch. Piper didn’t even know what was going to happen during that lunch. Alex would probably still hate her – admittedly though, Piper deserved that – but she hoped they could deal with their problems and walk away without feeling like enemies.

“I have to go,” Piper said, looking at her watch. Barely five minutes after eleven. The walk to Little Paul’s took about ten minutes but Piper needed to get away from Larry because with all the guilt boiling inside of her, she could hardly look at him.

“Already? I thought it wasn’t till one,” Larry frowned, closing his laptop and getting up.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t want to be late, would I?” Piper replied. “And it’s in Manhattan, so I have a long ride ahead, so… I better go.”

“Okay, well,” Larry came to her and kissed her on the lips. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” Piper mumbled distantly, already walking out of the room.

“Go get ‘em!” Larry called after her but she was already closing the entrance door behind her.

 

Piper got to the restaurant at exactly 11:20. She stood in front of it for a minute, deciding whether to go in and sit there all alone, looking like a loser, or stay out, standing awkwardly in front of a restaurant all alone, looking like a loser. She finally made her decision based on the grey, windy weather that kept getting worse since this morning.

When Piper walked into the restaurant, much to her surprise Alex was already there. She was sitting at a table right across the room. She was working, obviously, typing something on her laptop. She looked focused, almost impossible to be disturbed, and for a minute, Piper actually considered just leaving her to finish her work and come back later. Then she had to throw the idea out because Alex looked up as she heard the door close behind her. She was definitely nervous, Piper could tell she probably looked up every time someone had walked in. Piper slowly walked towards the table, trying to think of words to say and how to begin the whole conversation. Her entire stomach was twisting and she felt like she was going to throw up any minute. Piper couldn’t remember ever being so nervous in front of Alex. It was always a little nervous, but the good, exciting kind of nervous.

Alex closed her laptop and put her glasses from the top of her head on her nose. She got up and Piper noticed she was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. _Visiting a friend._ Right.

“Hey,” Alex spoke first as Piper got closer. Her voice was calm and maybe even friendly. Completely different from yesterday.

Then Piper did the stupidest thing. When she came to Alex, she sort of automatically hugged her. It was almost as if she had forgotten why they were there, and more importantly, the whole eight years that had passed. Alex was surprised by it at first but she quickly gave in, hugging her back.

“Sorry,” Piper mumbled when she pulled away, realizing how awkward she had just made this situation. “I’m just happy you showed up.”

Alex chuckled. It was the same laugh Piper remembered and loved. Deep, melodic and absolutely adorable. They sat down opposite each other.

“Did you think I would stand you up?” Alex asked with a grin as she put all her things – laptop, papers and more papers – into her bag.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” Piper answered and rested her elbows on the table. Alex stopped sorting her stuff and looked up at her. She didn’t smile this time.

“Well, I didn’t,” she said finally, turning back to her bag that was on the chair next to her. “And you’re early.”

“So are you,” Piper pointed out with a smile. This wasn’t hard. The chit chat before the real talk was always easy.

“Yeah, I had some work to do,” Alex said, zipping the computer bag and finally turning to face Piper.

“If you need to, I can just wait till you finish it,” Piper offered with good intentions but Alex understood her differently.

“Right, now you’re supportive of my job?” she lost her cool for a second. The friendly mask was gone and there she was again, like eight years ago – hurting and angry. Piper couldn’t stand the pain in Alex’s eyes so she averted hers to her own hands on the table.

“I didn’t come here to talk about that,” Piper said quietly and found the courage to look at her again. “I didn’t come here to fight, Alex.”

“Neither did I,” she said with a sigh.

Before she could add anything else, they were interrupted by a waitress named Angie. Piper knew her from her occasional visits at the restaurant and suddenly she realized, Angie and Larry were always joking together when they ordered. She probably remembered him and maybe Piper, too. Angie didn’t look much interested in her or her companion, though.

“Can I get you anything?” she asked Piper, who looked at Alex. She had ice tea in front of her, so Piper ordered the same.

“Sure,” the waitress tried to smile, probably to be polite and get tipped later. “And will you be eating? Should I get you the menus?” she asked both of them.

“We’re good for now, thanks,” Alex answered for the both of them. It was clear she didn’t come for a friendly chatty lunch and Piper was relieved she was taking it seriously. They needed to have an actual conversation, not just some cheesy fake ramble.

The waitress left and Piper tried to come up with a good opening line. Of course she had been preparing since yesterday what she wanted to say to Alex, but now everything seemed so dull. She just couldn’t find the right words. It was almost as if Piper had forgotten how to speak English.

Alex waited patiently for her to begin. It was obvious they both knew Piper was the bad guy here and Alex was doing her a favor just by showing up. Not that Alex was completely innocent in the whole thing.

Angie came back with Piper’s ice tea. “If you need anything, let me know,” she added and returned to her post behind the bar. The restaurant was pretty empty, considering it was lunch time. Other than the two of them, there was only one older guy in the back, and two girls in their twenties by the window who were constantly laughing about something.

Piper used the ice tea to buy her some more time and slowly sipped it before she finally had the courage to talk. She should’ve ordered Long Island ice tea instead. That would have definitely helped with the courage, although it might have had a bad influence on the ‘speaking English’ part.

“I’m sorry, Alex,” she said quietly but in all honesty. At first, she stared at the table but as she was saying those words, she realized she needed to say them to Alex, not the table. She looked up. Alex’s lips were tightly pressed together, her eyes moving quickly as she tried to look Piper in the eyes, trying to figure her out.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Piper went on, her voice shaking. Alex remained silent. The pain in her eyes was crushing Piper but she was determined not to break the eye contact. She owed it to Alex to really face her when she apologized. She felt the tears coming but she willed them away.

“I shouldn’t have left you in Paris alone. You needed someone, a friend at least, and it was selfish of me to leave you alone,” it was hard to admit this to herself, and even harder for Piper to say it out loud.

Alex exhaled, slowly nodding. “Thanks for saying that.”

“I know words can’t fix this…” Piper averted her eyes.

“You’re right,” Alex interrupted her and by putting her glasses in her hair, Piper knew she was about to get serious. “They can’t. I don’t forgive easily. And I’m not even sure I ever can this time.”

“I understand. I wasn’t expecting you to anyway,” Piper admitted.

For a second, Alex looked a little startled. Surprised even. Her eyebrows went up and she leaned back a little, crossing arms on her chest.

“You weren’t? Why are we here then?” she asked, glaring at Piper.

“I don’t know,” Piper shrugged, staring back into those grey-green eyes she had been having both dreams and nightmares about. “I just wanted to talk to you, I guess. Why are _you_ here?”

“Same. And I wanted to hear what lame-ass excuse you would come up with,” Alex grinned and took a sip of her ice tea. “Gotta say, I’m kind of disappointed.”

“I’ve missed you,” Piper blurted out with a smile, not realizing the full impact of her words until she saw the look on Alex’s face. “Not like that. I’m not here to get back together,” she added quickly. “I just… missed you.”

Alex squinted as she put her ice tea back on the table without breaking the eye contact. Then she smiled pulling her glasses back on her nose.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she said with a nod and Piper couldn’t help but notice the little twitch in the corner of her mouth. She was either lying or hiding something, trying hard not to say it out loud.

“So…” Piper began, not sure how to continue.

“So?”

“Do we order lunch now or do you still want to storm out on me? I’m kind of hungry.”

“I’m not sure,” Alex laughed. “But it might be more dramatic if I leave in the middle of a meal.”

“It sure would be.”

They ordered after trying to attract the waitress’ attention for five minutes. When she left them alone again, Piper felt more relaxed, as if this _was_ just a friendly lunch.

“So how’ve you been?” Piper asked and Alex hesitated for a second.

“Good,” she answered finally. “Job’s great, I still get to travel a lot…”

She spoke about her job as if she was a diplomat, travelling for work representing her country, and not as a part of an international drug cartel. Piper had to keep herself from snorting at that.

“I just came back from a year in Thailand, actually,” she added, adjusting her glasses.

“You do look tanned,” Piper suddenly noticed. Alex had always been pale white but now her skin was more like a regular white person’s skin color.

“So do you,” Alex pointed out with a smile.

“I go to the Hamptons a lot,” _with Larry_ , Piper remembered her fiancé for the first time. She knew she would have to mention him to Alex eventually but she didn’t want to look like she’s just trying to prove something to Alex.

“I thought you didn’t like Hamptons,” Alex frowned.

“Well, you got me all spoiled with Tahiti and Maldives, no wonder I didn’t want us to go to the freaking Hamptons,” Piper defended herself with a grin. She remembered how Alex, during the rare times she had a free weekend in New York, always suggested going to the beach for the whole weekend. Piper would decline almost every single time and instead, they just spent two days in bed watching TV or doing… other activities.

“My mistake,” Alex chuckled. “What have you been up to, besides going to the Hamptons?”

“Well,” _I got engaged. I got engaged. I got engaged._ “I started a business with Polly recently. Do you remember Polly?”

“How could I ever forget Polly?” Alex rolled her eyes mockingly and Piper shot her a look. “What do you do?”

“Soaps, lotions… stuff like that. It’s kind of cool, we’re called PoPi and we might get into Barney’s soon.”

“Barney’s?” Alex cocked her brow.

“It’s a nice store,” Piper put her down. “Anyway, Polly says hi.”

“You told her you were meeting me? Oh, she must have been thrilled!” Alex said sarcastically.

“Jumped up and down with joy, actually” Piper joined in.

“I bet,” Alex laughed.

“No, I think she’ll actually kill me later. I was supposed to go to a meeting with her today. She had to go alone and she wasn’t happy about it.”

“Wait, so you’re skipping job for this?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, I mean… obviously.”

“Why didn’t you tell me yesterday? I’m free tomorrow, we could have…”

“I totally blanked on the meeting yesterday,” Piper shook her head and sighed. “Besides, it doesn’t matter now. Polly will do just fine.”

The waitress suddenly appeared with their meals. Piper had ordered chicken salad and Alex spaghetti carbonara, which had always been her favorite. They continued their conversation about random stuff and news about their lives. When they were both finished with the lunch, Alex pushed her empty plate aside and leaned her elbows on the table, her fingers connecting, supporting her chin. Piper looked at her carefully, expecting the worst question an ex could ever ask you.

“So, are you seeing anyone right now?” she asked. Her expression was absolutely unreadable. Piper stared without saying anything until Alex looked down and laughed.

“Come on,” her eyes found Piper’s again. “One of us had to ask that question first.”

“Uhm,” Piper swallowed emptily and bit the inside of her lower lip. She was afraid of Alex’s reaction but she knew she couldn’t just lie. “I am, yes.”

“You don’t have to look so guilty, Pipes,” Alex chuckled, which was definitely not the reply Piper had been expecting. Piper also noticed the slip of the gentle nickname Alex would always call her by. It felt nice to hear it from her again. No one ever called her that anymore. “It’s been almost eight years. I’m with someone, too.”

“Really?” Piper said, relieved but also feeling a tiny sting of jealousy in the back of her head. Probably just a force of habit. She willed it away quickly.

“I mean I guessed you were,” Piper continued and Alex lifted her eyebrows questioningly. “You are wearing the same clothes as yesterday.”

“Oh,” Alex looked down on her clothes, looking a bit guilty. “I didn’t think you would notice.”

“You know me, I always notice stuff when it’s about clothes,” Piper smiled.

A moment of awkward silence followed. Both women avoided each other’s looks and the level of awkwardness was only raised by the waitress coming to get the empty plates.

“Can I get you anything else?”

“We’re good now, thanks,” Piper mumbled when Alex didn’t seem like answering. The waitress left again.

“So,” Piper said. “Are you happy? With…?”

“Malia,” Alex said, staring at her hands on the table. “Yeah, I mean… Yeah. She was in Thailand with me. I mean I met her there. She was on holidays there or something. We met at a local hospital, actually.”

“What? What happened to you?”

“Nothing serious,” Alex shook her head. “One night, I just got a little too drunk and thought it was a good idea to go cliff diving.”

“Oh, my god.”

“Yeah, only there weren’t any cliffs around, so we went to the hotel pool instead. I stood on the table, to get higher, right, and I jumped. Only I didn’t hit the pool. I was like ten feet from the pool but no one bothered to tell me. They all just laughed.”

Piper had to laugh as well. She covered her mouth with her hands but it was too late.

“I’m sorry,” Piper apologized, trying hard to stop. “It’s not funny.”

“No, it is,” Alex admitted, giggling as well. “Anyway, I twisted my ankle and bruised my elbow. So I went to the hospital thinking the ankle was broken, only to find another stupid, drunk American in the ER.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Piper smiled. “It’s like it was faith.”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded, her smile fading slowly. “So what about you? Who’s the lucky one?”

This was the hardest part. Admitting to Alex it was a guy. And that they were engaged. She suddenly felt like throwing up again, just like before coming inside the restaurant and walking to Alex.

“Well,” Piper began, this time it was her who refused to look into the other woman’s eyes. “His name’s Larry, he’s a writer…”

“And he’s a _he_ ,” Alex interrupted with both her eyebrows up but then she smiled to herself and nodded. “Right.”

“I’m not with him because of that,” Piper said quietly.

“I’m not saying anything,” Alex shook her head, raising both her hands up.

“You’re thinking it. Look, I…”

“You don’t have to defend yourself, Piper,” Alex jumped in. “It’s your life. I don’t have a say in it anymore. It’s fine.”

“Okay, but just know that for me this – us – wasn’t just an experimental phase, alright? It was real. I can’t control who I like.”

“Yeah, I know,” Alex sighed, closing her eyes for a minute.

“Are you happy?” Alex asked her the same question with her eyes still shut.

Piper reflexively reached out to her engagement ring only to remember she left it at home. She smiled to herself and nodded. “I am.”

“Good,” Alex said, opening her eyes. “That’s good.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little shorter, just like the next one, but it felt wrong making the two chapters as one. I'll post the 5th chapter probably later today. Thank you guys so much for the support I've been getting, it means the world to me!

The rest of the lunch continued in a surprisingly friendly, yet a bit tense mood. They laughed a lot. There were a lot of awkward pauses. Alex told stories from her travels, Piper described how she went from waitressing – again – to being a business owner. They shared random stories, remembered the good times they had together and avoided the bad ones. At the end, they exchanged numbers and said goodbye with another hug that felt a lot less awkward than the first one.

Piper had doubted she and Alex could become friendly again but as she left the restaurant, she felt positive about their potential friendship. Even though she had tried so hard to forget her past that included Alex, she had to admit she really missed her in her life, even after eight years. Suddenly she was back and it felt right. The only thing that didn’t feel right was that she couldn’t bring herself to mention to her the fact that she was engaged to Larry. She promised herself to tell her next time she saw her. If there even was a next time.

Piper had no idea how Alex really felt about all this. She acted like she really was over it but knowing Alex more than well, Piper guessed it couldn’t be that easy. And she said it herself – she couldn’t forgive her for what she had done. Even Piper couldn’t forgive herself sometimes. She just hoped Alex was at least just enough over it so they could be friends again. Even after only one lunch, Piper sure wasn’t ready to lose her again. At least not permanently.

When Piper got home, she took her shoes off, announcing her arrival. When she got no response, she walked into the living room to find Larry sitting on the couch, staring at her. He seemed distraught.

“Are you okay?” Piper asked him and sat down next to him, putting her hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he said but he didn’t sound okay.

“What’s wrong?”

“Pete called.”

“Oh,” Piper took her hand off Larry and expected the worst.

“Said Polly was freaking out because _you_ had ditched her and let her go to the meeting alone. Which brings up the question,” Larry asked, slowly turning his head to Piper. “Where were you? I thought you went to the meeting with her.”

“Okay, I meant to,” Piper said quickly, trying to make up her mind on whether she should lie or spill the beans. “But then I bumped into an old friend of mine. We, uhm, had some unresolved stuff between us, kind of ended on a bad note, so we sat down. We talked through it. It was very important to me.”

“More important than the Barney’s deal?” Larry raised his brows suspiciously. “What do you mean by an old friend?”

“She was...” Piper hesitated. “She was my closest friend once. I couldn’t have just let it go.”

“Alright, who is this person?” Larry asked, trying to sound angry but he was visibly relieved it was about a woman. If he only knew… “You never told me about her, have you?”

“No, I haven’t,” Piper shook her head and sighed. “It’s because… I did a terrible thing to her and… I mean, she wasn’t that innocent in it either. It was just messy. I kind of pretended it never happened. I guess I was too ashamed.”

Larry turned on the couch to face Piper. He took her hands in his own and looked into her eyes.

“Piper, we’re getting married. I love you. There’s nothing that can change that. You can tell me anything.”

“I know,” Piper whispered and squeezed his hands.

“So tell me… What happened with… What’s her name?”

“Alex,” Piper breathed out, her stomach twisting inside her again. It felt wrong talking about her to Larry. “Her name is Alex.”

“So what happened?”

“I don’t know,” Piper sighed loudly and averted her eyes. “Things… Stuff...”

“Okay, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. You can tell me – or not – when you’re ready.”

“Thanks,” Piper half-smiled and leaned over to kiss Larry on his cheek.

“But you should probably call Polly and explain it.”

“Oh, god,” Piper remembered suddenly and ran back to the hall to retrieve her phone from her purse. She called Polly immediately, walking back to the living room.

“PIPER FUCKING CHAPMAN I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU,” Polly yelled to the phone as soon as she picked up.

“I’m SO sorry, Pol,” Piper said quickly.

“You freaking abandoned me, our business! I go in there and they immediately grilled me that you’re not there saying they can’t do business with people who don’t take it seriously enough!”

“What the fuck?”

“Yeah! Surprise. They expected both partners to show up! We lost that fucking deal just so you could hang out with your motherfucking ex. I hope it was all worth it!”

Piper looked at Larry nervously, hoping he didn’t hear anything but he was just giving her supportive looks. She turned around and walked back into the hall.

“I’m sorry, Polly,” Piper repeated. “I’ll call them, tell them it was an emergency. I’ll fix it.”

“Oh, you think I told them you weren’t there because you couldn’t control your twat? No, no, I said that you had to go to the hospital because of your aunt dying but they didn’t buy it!”

“I’ll get us a new deal, Polly, alright?”

“It’s not about the fucking deal, Piper!” Polly exclaimed and then her voice lowered. “You chose that fucking cunt over me. Over our business. You’re just gonna let her come back into your life and turn it upside down again?”

“That’s not fair, Polly,” Piper whispered weakly. “I had to make it right. And I _didn’t_ choose her over you.”

“At least admit it, Piper,” Polly said. “Say you fucked up.”

“I fucked up,” Piper sighed with a nod, even though Polly couldn’t see her.

“You fucked me over and ditched me.”

“I fucked you over.”

“And ditched me,” Polly repeated.

“And ditched you,” Piper said with a sigh.

“Damn right you did,” Polly said, her anger slowly fading.

“I’m so, _so_ sorry,” Piper apologized again.

“Yeah, whatever,” Polly sighed and Piper could almost see her rolling her eyes. “Was it at least worth it?” she asked now calmly. Polly wasn’t one to dwell. She could never stay angry long.

“It was,” Piper said. “I made peace with her. I think I needed that more than I had realized.”

“Well, good for you. Bad for me. If you’re gonna become friends with her, I swear…”

“That’s the idea, Pol.”

“Just promise me one thing, though.”

“What?”

“Don’t go down that road again.”

“Polly-“ Piper tried to object but she wouldn’t let her.

“I know what it’s like with exes. You think you can be friends but you just can’t. She made you miserable at the end, you told me yourself. You don’t want to talk about the real reason you broke up – that’s fine by me. I don’t have to know. But you need to remember it right now. Because right now, you only think of the good stuff and you miss her. But remember what happened, remember the bad. And most importantly, remember what life you have right now. You wouldn’t want to just throw it away, would you?”

“Of course not and I’m not going to, Polly,” Piper looked around to make sure Larry was still on the couch. Then she walked to the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

“It’s not about that. I don’t feel that way about her anymore. I love Larry. I just couldn’t live with myself knowing she’s out there somewhere, hating me.”

“That’s always your problem, isn’t it?” Polly said. “You can’t stand people not liking you.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, absolutely not.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do.”

“Take it back!”

“You see?” Polly said triumphantly and then got serious again. “I just don’t want you to get hurt again. I was there to pick up the pieces the last time and let me tell you, it wasn’t fun.”

“I know,” Piper exhaled.

“Just be careful.”

“I am.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Polly said with another sigh.

“I do,” Piper assured her.

“Good. Now tell me what _Supercunt_ said.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, guys, so much for the comments! You're making me blush really ^^  
> Although don't get used to the speed of updating, I have school only three days a week but it's definitely busy time (Mon-Wed) for me! On the bright side, though, I already have like a couple chapters ahead and a rough plan of the rest, so the updating speed might be consistent but who knows with me and my mood swings :D  
> Thanks for reading!

“Sweetie, I know you said you didn’t want a big party this year but I accidentally invited some work people,” Larry said right after he came home from the grocery store instead of a simple good old fashioned ‘hi’.

“What?” Piper looked up from the couch and laughed. “You don’t have a job. What do you mean by work people?”

“That’s mean,” he said, kissing the top of her head, and then he walked to the kitchen, unpacking the groceries. “You remember the guys from the Brooklyn bulletin thing? Brad, Sally… You met them at a Christmas party last year?”

“Oh, yeah, Brad and Sally, how could I forget,” Piper got up from the couch with no idea who Brad and Sally were.

“I bumped into them at the grocery store. They said there might be an opening in that magazine!”

“Honey, that’s great!” Piper exclaimed.

“Yeah, so they saw I was buying all the party stuff and I really need that job, so I invited them and they said they could bring their boss, so we could talk about the job… Is that okay?”

“Of course! I already invited some more people from college and from the old work. And from the gym.”

Larry shot her a look. “How many more?”

“You might need to do some more grocery shopping,” Piper smiled innocently, sitting on the bar stool and watching Larry unpack. “Facebook is a bitch, it gets you in touch with people you completely forgot about.”

“Oh, is that how you got back in touch with Alex?” Larry asked.

It had been a week and a half since the lunch and Piper didn’t hear from her at all. Then again, she was too afraid to pick up the phone as well. Meanwhile, Larry was dropping random questions about her basically every day.

“No, I told you. I ran into her.”

“Maybe you should invite her,” Larry suggested. “It’s your birthday, I’m sure she’d love to come.”

Piper stared at him. Yeah, there was nothing Alex would love more than to go to a party with Piper’s _fiancé_. But if she told her she could bring that girlfriend of hers, maybe she would show up. But Alex and Larry meeting sounded like Piper’s very definition of a nightmare. Especially when pregnant and currently still very angry Polly was scheduled to make an appearance, too.

“Why do you keep asking about her?” she said to Larry instead. “I told you, I’m not comfortable talking about her.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just curious, is all. I’ll stop.”

“Thank you,” Piper sighed.

“I know you were close once. I just thought it would be nice to have her around for your birthday.”

“Maybe I’ll invite her,” Piper shrugged finally. “She won’t come anyway. It’s tomorrow. She’s always busy.”

“You’ll never know unless you try,” Larry pointed out, coming from behind the counter and hugging Piper around her waist. “And you didn’t kiss me to welcome me yet.”

Piper smiled into the kiss, forgetting all her worries for that moment.

 

Larry had gone out to do the second round of grocery shopping and Piper used that time to call Alex. She stared at her cell for good five minutes before finally manning up and dialing Alex’s number. Alex picked up almost immediately.

“What now?” she practically yelled, sounding annoyed and stressed.

“Sorry, it’s me. Piper,” she answered, taken aback by her snap.

“Oh, god, sorry, Pipes,” Alex mumbled. “I thought you were someone else, I didn’t look at the number.”

“That’s okay.”

“So what’s up?” Alex asked but she sounded a little distracted.

“Do you want me to call you later?”

“No, I can talk.”

“You sure? You sound busy.”

“What’s up, Piper?” Alex repeated her question and Piper could almost hear her smile.

“This might be the stupidest idea ever but… I’m having a party tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come?” Piper felt like she was in middle school, asking her crush out. She only hoped she didn’t come off like that to Alex.

“Oh,” Alex said and then giggled. “Do you _want_ me to come?”

“That’s the purpose of this phone call, Al.”

“You just sound like someone made you say that. Like when you’re in middle school and your mom makes you invite the kid everyone hates to your birthday party,” Alex explained in an amused tone. So Piper did sound like a middle schooler after all.

“Well, okay, it was Larry’s idea at first,” Piper admitted and was rewarded with silence, only hearing Alex moving the phone probably to her other ear.

“So I _would_ be the kid everyone hates at the party. Story of my life. You told the boyfriend about me?” Alex asked, doubt in her voice.

“Not really,” Piper told the truth. There was no point in hiding it.

“So how was it his idea?”

“Well, I told him about you. I just didn’t tell him…”

“Ah,” Alex said. “I see.”

“I just didn’t want him to worry about me hanging out with my ex.”

“You don’t have to explain. I get it. I’m the invisible woman.”

Piper remembered how Alex would call herself that jokingly back when they were dating. She never thought she was hurt by it until now. _Has Alex always thought Piper was ashamed to have been dating her? Dating a woman?_ Because Piper felt the exact opposite of that.

“It’s just easier that way. I just told him we used to be close.”

“Right.”

“I’d still like it if you decided to come. You can bring your girlfriend if you want. Make it more awkward and all,” Piper tried to joke but Alex didn’t laugh.

“I’ll think about it. When is it again?”

“Tomorrow. I’ll text you the address.”

“Tomorrow? Yeah, I might have to… work.”

“I understand,” Piper nodded, trying to come up with something to break the tension.

“But you should come,” she added finally. “It’ll be fun. There will be booze… and Polly, too. You can catch up with her.”

“Wait, are you trying to persuade me to go to the party or not? Because I’m getting mixed signals here,” Alex chuckled.

“You can just stop by for one drink,” Piper said, nervously playing with her necklace. “It’d be nice to see you. It _is_ my birthday after all.”

“No, it’s not. That’s in like two weeks.”

“Well,” Piper didn’t know how to respond to that. She couldn’t believe Alex even remembered when her birthday was. “Whatever. It doesn’t even matter at this age anymore. The birthday party is tomorrow, so my birthday is tomorrow. It’s not like the two weeks would make a huge difference.”

“Aw, listen to you, kid. Already having the mid-life crisis,” Alex teased her.

“So will you come?”

“I’ll see,” Alex said with a soft chuckle and hung up.

Piper texted her the address immediately before she could forget it and then she took a long deep breath. She did it. She just actually invited Alex to a party with her fiancé and Polly.

Piper froze.

She did it.

 _What the hell was she thinking?!_ _This was the worst idea ever._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and the comments! Hope you guys will enjoy the party ^^

The following day, Piper regretted her decision even more. As the first guests arrived and the party was warming up, Piper started to feel nauseous. She was nervous and shaking all the time, jumping up every time the door opened. Larry, oblivious to his fiancé’s behavior, decided to be the DJ of the party by making a playlist of Piper’s favorite songs. He stood by the laptop that was connected to the speakers and casually checked it every minute or so just to make sure everything was still working – as if he couldn’t hear the music actually blasting through the speakers.

Piper played hostess, welcoming the guests as they arrived, accepting their birthday wishes and even some presents which she put aside, decided to open them later. At around nine, Polly and Pete finally showed up.

Polly wasn’t mad at Piper anymore, mostly because last week Piper managed to get another chance from Barney’s for their business. They had analyzed the whole lunch with Alex over the phone and this was actually the first time they saw each other face-to-face since then. Piper immediately dragged Polly aside, barely noticing Pete’s questioning looks.

“I did something really stupid,” Piper blurted out right away.

“Please, just don’t tell me it has to do with you-know-who,” Polly sighed and Piper just nodded.

“Go get drunk, honey, this will take a while,” Polly said to Pete who gladly obeyed and disappeared into the living room to find the open bar. Polly then walked with Piper to the bedroom where it was more quiet and appropriate to talk.

“What did you do?” Polly asked with resigned tone.

“You know how I told you I had to tell Larry about Alex? But I left out the whole lesbian-lover part?”

“Uh-huh?” Polly frowned suspiciously.

“Well, he now thinks she is – or she used to be my BFF, so he wanted me to invite her to the party.”

“Oh, no, you didn’t!” Polly exclaimed, and Piper gave her another nod. “Oh, my fucking god, Piper. Are you out of your fucking mind? What were you thinking?!” Piper received a punch in the shoulder.

“Ow! I wasn’t thinking, alright?! I just wanted an excuse to call her and be friendly but I didn’t realize how stupid this whole thing is until I hung up the phone!”

“If you’re starting to fall for her again…”

“Jesus, Polly! I’m not, I swear!” Piper said urgently. “I just wanted us to be friends again.”

“Well, did she say she would come?”

“She said she’d think about it.”

“Good, hopefully at least she has some sense and isn’t as stupid as you,” Polly said, shooting another angry glance at Piper. “Oh, god, I need a drink. Stupid baby,” she said, looking down at her belly.

“ _Polly_.”

“I didn’t mean that,” she added quickly. “But you’ve been acting crazy ever since you ran into _Supercunt_ and I don’t think I can deal with this sober.”

“Just promise me you won’t make a scene if she decides to come.”

“I would _never_!” Polly exclaimed, half-heartedly trying to appear offended.

“Oh, really? How about the hints you dropped constantly at my parents’ anniversary party back when Alex and I were still dating? You knew better than anyone that they had no clue about Alex.”

“That was different. I was drunk.”

“Thank god, you can’t get wasted now,” Piper sighed and smiled. Polly did, too.

“This will be the worst party ever.”

“Thanks,” Piper said sarcastically.

“Sorry. Happy birthday, by the way.”

 

It was 11:30. Piper was starting believe that Alex had ditched her. Not that she promised she would come. Piper understood more than well that she didn’t exactly jump up high in excitement about the opportunity to meet her ex’s new boyfriend. But still, Piper felt a little disappointed. Despite the dreading part of Alex meeting Larry – and even worse, Alex ‘reuniting’ with Polly – she still wanted to see her tonight.

Polly, on the other hand, was getting happier and happier each minute that her nemesis didn’t show up, while Larry, still not knowing the full story, tried to comfort Piper about Alex’s absence.

“You invited her yesterday. You were right, she probably already had plans,” he said.

“Who you talking about?” Pete asked joining the group of three with a beer in his hand, already pretty hammered.

“No one,” Polly jumped in, quickly dragging him away. Piper mouthed thanks to her as they passed by her.

“Are you still having fun?” Larry asked once they were left alone.

“Of course,” Piper lied. The whole night she had been obsessing over Alex. She completely forgot to have fun. She had been hovering around the hall most of the night, welcoming people to her party and checking her phone every five minutes to see if Alex texted her she wouldn’t make it. She didn’t.

“Oh, there he is!” Larry suddenly exclaimed, looking somewhere into the crowd. For a small, private birthday party, there were a lot of people Piper didn’t even know. “It’s Brad and Sally’s boss. I better go talk to him while he’s still relatively sober and alone.”

Piper smiled and kissed him briefly on the lips, wishing him good luck. She was glad to be left alone again. But as Larry left and she glanced to the door out of habit, she saw her. Alex was standing there, with her arm around some other woman who was much shorter than her with pale skin and bright red long hair. _She is pretty cute_ , was Piper’s first thought.

Piper swallowed emptily and went over to greet them. She felt Alex’s glare on her the whole time.

“Hi,” Piper smiled as she awkwardly stood in front of the two of them.

“Hey,” Alex said.

“Glad you could make it.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Seems like one hell of a party,” Alex said and Piper wasn’t sure if that was meant to be sarcastic. The party was going well, at least for other people, as Piper had noticed.

“I hope so.”

“Oh, sorry,” Alex suddenly remembered her girlfriend’s presence and put her arm from around the woman’s shoulders back to her side. “Malia, this is Piper. Piper, Malia.”

“Hey,” Alex’s new girlfriend nodded at Piper with a friendly smile.

“Nice to meet you,” Piper returned that smile. “That’s an interesting name, Malia.”

“I’m from Hawaii,” the woman explained.

“Oh, you don’t look Hawaiian,” Piper said, almost punching herself for that response.

“Yeah, I get that a lot.”

“Uhm,” Piper scratched her forehead. “You guys just make yourself at home. Bar’s over there,” she added pointing behind her to the living room.

“Excellent,” Malia said, leaving Piper and Alex alone without further comments, heading straight for the bar.

“She’s a charmer,” Piper pointed out with a smirk.

“I think she has a slight drinking problem,” Alex said, frowning and staring after her girlfriend. Then, realizing what she had said out loud, she shook her head. “I mean, she’s fun at parties. She made me go, actually.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. I mean I didn’t tell her about our history, since we’re denying that relationship’s existence now,” Alex said bitterly, giving her the death stare.

“I’m not denying anything,” Piper sighed, not knowing how to explain herself to Alex. She decided to hide it with a joke. “I just don’t like to brag. Larry could never score a hot girlfriend like that. I don’t want him to feel bad about himself because I’m obviously the better player.”

“Nice save,” Alex cocked her eyebrows admiringly. “But full of shit. He’s dating you, isn’t he?”

“Smooth,” Piper nodded with a quiet giggle.

“You know me,” a smug grin appeared on her face but the smile slowly fell as she continued. “I assume he was the guy you were kissing when we walked in,” Alex said, her expression neutral again.

“That would be him, yeah.”

“Interesting choice.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Well, I don’t think you’re the best one to judge a guy just by his looks.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Alex shrugged, obviously biting back some witty or mean comeback and taking her black leather jacket off.

Piper noticed she was all in black again, as most of the times, wearing skinny dark jeans and a revealing V-neck top. She wore flat shoes so Piper was a little taller than her on her high heels that went perfectly with the white short dress she was wearing.

“Can I put this somewhere so I can get the party started?” Alex asked, waving with the jacket in her hand.

“Yeah, sure, let me take that for you,” Piper nodded, taking the jacket and walking to the bedroom where they stored all the jackets on the bed. There were so many of them already, even though it was still pretty warm outside. Piper didn’t even realize the party was so big. When she put the jacket to the others on the bed, she turned around only to find out Alex had followed her inside the room. The door slammed behind her because of the wind coming in through the opened window. Both women jumped up in shock from the unexpected noise and then they laughed.

“So this is where you live,” Alex said after a while, looking around nosily, as Piper closed the window, refusing to look at Alex.

“It’s nice. Pretty conventional, even for you.”

“Okay, what is _that_ supposed to mean?” Piper snapped, walking towards her.

“Nothing, I’m just saying… It’s like a stereotypical hetero couple’s apartment.”

“Well, that’s what it is. Sorry we don’t have rainbows and unicorns everywhere.”

Alex smiled but it was a forced smile. Sad. Angry, even. She turned her back to Piper and walked around the room more, running her fingers over the furniture.

“You’re engaged, aren’t you?” Alex asked suddenly as she stopped, with her back still to Piper who was left in shock after that question. She did have her ring on but she didn’t think Alex would notice.

“Yeah,” Piper said finally when she found her voice again. “Yes, I am.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to rub it in your face…”

Alex finally turned around to look at Piper. To her surprise, she was smiling again. “It’s been eight years, Piper. I’m over it. You can marry whatever asshole you want. It’s not my business.”

“You’re right. It’s not. And he’s not an asshole,” Piper felt the sudden anger towards Alex and she didn’t even know why. It’s not like such a _mature_ insult aimed at Larry should make Piper upset.

“Yay for you,” Alex rolled her eyes sarcastically. “Your parents must be so happy. You’re dating a nice white guy with probably good enough education who you actually can introduce to them. Hooray!”

“That’s just unfair,” Piper whispered, all of her anger gone for the moment. Alex’s words always hurt her like no weapon in the world could.

“Whatever,” Alex sighed after a short pause. “I didn’t come here for this. I came here to party. And see Dolly again.”

With that, she grabbed the door knob, ready to leave but Piper stopped her by putting a hand on her shoulder and making her to face her again. The anger caught up with her once more and she was _furious_.

“I can’t believe you still think you were just a phase to me. After everything. I fucking loved you, Alex. When are you going to realize that? Just because I didn’t want to cause my conservative family a freaking heart attack doesn’t mean I didn’t care for you. I did. You were the most important person in my life. So stop giving me shit about liking guys, too,” Piper got it all out so quickly she forgot to take a breath in between. She paused and went to the other end of the room, turning back to Alex, who still stood there, surprised by the sudden outburst. She only moved after a minute to go over to Piper, staring into her eyes.

“You broke my fucking heart, Piper,” she almost whispered without breaking the eye contact. Her gaze was almost burning holes into Piper. Her voice was shaking, which was something very unusual for Alex. “I trusted you with it and you fucking ripped it out of my chest and smashed it into pieces.”

“You think I don’t know that? I already apologized. I was a selfish asshole. What more do you want from me?”

Alex hesitated. Then, before Piper knew it, Alex’s lips were pressed against hers, just as Alex’s both hands cupped her cheeks. Piper, taken aback by it, first didn’t even move but then she automatically gave in, returning the kisses, hungry for more. It was like she travelled back in time, forgetting everything. After a couple of seconds, though, Piper finally came back to her senses and pushed Alex away, stepping back from her.

“What the hell are you doing? Are you insane?” she asked angrily, her voice unsteady but it wasn’t because of the fury. It was because of the kiss. It felt so right. So familiar. It felt suddenly like this was all she had been missing in her life during those eight years. Like when you come home from a long trip, you enjoyed the vacation but in the end you just wanted to be home. And there was no place like home. And that scared Piper more than anything.

Alex didn’t respond. She only adjusted the glasses on her nose, glaring at Piper. They were both breathing heavily, having an intense stare-off. Piper didn’t know how to feel. She was confused. Her mind and heart were messing with her. She could make a list of at least fifty reasons why all this was the worst thing that could ever happen and why she shouldn’t be with or even talk to Alex anymore. But literally all she could think about at that moment were those soft, beautiful lips and how much she had missed them.

She came close to her again, slowly, careful not to break the eye contact. She felt like if she did, Alex would walk away. Alex watched her with her lips pressed against each other and Piper noticed a small wrinkle between Alex’s eyebrows. But she wasn’t frowning. She looked worried. Confused. Just like Piper, probably.

Piper stopped only inches from her, tardily reaching out for her cheeks, leaning in to kiss her again. This time, the kiss was calmer, less messy, but still as passionate as Piper had always remembered. Piper’s hands slipped smoothly into Alex’s dark hair, just as the brunette’s own hands wrapped around Piper’s waist, pulling her closer, as if trying to delete every last bit of space between them.

Piper felt Alex’s right hand running up her side and cupping her breast. She moaned into the kiss, moving backwards until her back hit the wall behind her and pulling Alex with her. Alex leaned back for a second only to kiss Piper on her neck and jawline, her hands running skillfully all over her body and making her moan quietly again, before returning to her lips.

Just as Piper’s hands slid under Alex’s top in order to take it off, they were interrupted by someone opening the door, coming into the room and exclaiming “Holy shit!”.

It was Polly.

Both Piper and Alex immediately jumped away from one another but it was obviously too late. Polly stared at Piper in disbelief. Alex tried to roll her tight top back down. Piper, trying to find help by glancing at Alex, couldn’t think of a single word to say but it wasn’t needed. Polly seemed too furious to let either of them speak.

“Sorry, apparently I’ve opened the door to the past,” she said through clenched teeth and backed out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Then she opened it again, glaring at Piper.

“And yes, that was a line from Friends. Which is something I’m guessing we’re not anymore?” she added and slammed the door again.

Piper and Alex exchanged a look. Piper suddenly started to realize the consequences of her actions. Alex did too, apparently.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“Me too,” Piper nodded. “This is so fucking messed up. Even for us. I mean, you have a girlfriend in the next room. I have a _fiancé_ in the next room.” _Oh, god, Larry._ Piper completely forgot about him when she was alone with Alex. Again.

“This is so fucked. What the hell is wrong with us?” Piper continued.

“I should go,” Alex said and Piper looked at her.

“Maybe this was a bad idea. Us being friends again.”

Alex glanced back at her and smiled. “We were never friends, Piper,” she said, slowly brushing past her to get her jacket from the pile on the bed.

“We weren’t?” Piper asked, half-surprised, half-offended.

“Fuck no,” Alex shook her head, looking at Piper with the tiniest hint of a smile. “I loved you. And since day one I never wanted us to be friends. I still don’t want to,” she added before turning around and leaving Piper alone in the bedroom. Piper stared after her distantly.

  _What the hell did just happen?_


	7. Chapter 7

Alex tried to find Malia so they could get out of Piper’s apartment but she failed. The woman was nowhere to be found and she didn’t pick up her phone either. This wasn’t the first time that happened on a party they went to. Alex, cursing under her breath, finally decided to ditch her and go home alone. As she put her phone back into her pocket, turning around, she bumped into some guy. It was Piper’s boyfriend. _Fiancé_.

“Oh, sorry,” he said, brushing past her.

“My mistake,” Alex said through clenched teeth and headed out of the apartment.

Once alone on the street, she suddenly felt so weak she had to sit down on the curb not even a block away from Piper’s place. She decided to call a cab and wait for it there.

Her mind was still racing. When she decided to come to Piper’s party, she wanted to play nice and be friendly because despite everything, she liked the idea of having her around again. She knew it was all a bad idea. As if she could ever just be friends with that woman.

She didn’t understand what it was about Piper that made her change the entire image of her she had built up in her absence. She hated her so much. Or so she thought. Now, she just wanted her to like her again. She wanted to be close to her.

When they were arguing earlier, the sudden urge to kiss Piper just completely blinded her. It took over and Alex couldn’t help herself. She missed Piper. She missed her smile, her wit, her lips. Talking to her, kissing her again was so familiar, so right. It immediately deleted the bad memories and feelings, bringing up the good ones instead. Alex had worked so hard to hate Piper or to at least forget her. She thought she was doing well, but only after reuniting with Piper, she realized how wrong she was. The eight years without Piper had been a torture and the fact that Piper had left her brokenhearted only made it a million times worse because she couldn’t even miss her without feeling like an idiot. Piper was the one who ended things and she was the one who selfishly left her when she needed her the most. Why would anyone miss someone like that?

But life without Piper wasn’t the same. It felt wrong. As if a piece of her was missing.

Alex simply had no idea how to work properly without her.

 

* * *

 

 

Piper stayed in the bedroom, unable to move, feeling confused about Alex’s words still hanging in the air. _I still don’t want to._ What did she mean by that? Was it supposed to imply that Alex wanted to get back together? Or did she mean she would never be friends with Piper because she could never forgive her?

Piper’s head was spinning from all the mixed feelings she had. She had done such a terrible thing, yet she couldn’t bring herself to feel bad. She knew she should feel guilty because of Larry but she didn’t. Not really. If this was all so wrong then why did it feel so right?

After a couple of minutes, Piper finally managed to get out of the room. The party was still going, as if nothing had just happened. Which it hadn’t, not to any of these people, but everything seemed suddenly all different to Piper.

Piper looked around for Polly. She had to find her, if she even was still here. Instead, she nearly tripped over Malia sitting on the floor in the hall with a bottle of melon vodka in her hands.

“Hey, watch it!” Malia exclaimed, looking up. “Oh, it’s you. The birthday girrrl.”

“Are you alright?” Piper asked, frowning.

“I’m gre… gro…,” Malia paused in an attempt to remember how the word continued. “GREAT! That’s it. Great. I’m great! And this party is _great_!”

“Thanks,” Piper said, suddenly worrying that Alex might still be here. She didn’t want to face her tonight again. She wouldn’t know what to do or say.

“Where’s your girlfriend?”

“Oh, you mean Alex?” Malia asked, tipsily getting up on her feet, leaning against the wall. “I think I saw her go that way.” She pointed at the entrance door and Piper shot her a suspicious look. Malia grinned and disappeared into the living room.

Piper stared after her for a while in more confusion before following her, her eyes searching the apartment for Polly instead. She found her sitting on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in her lap. She was angrily staring at the turned off TV stuffing one popcorn after another into her mouth.

“Polly,” Piper said as she approached the couch. Polly didn’t look up.

“Are you done sticking your tongue down your ex’s throat or have I ruined the mood for you? I’m such a cockblocker. Oh, sorry, cuntblocker,” she hissed sarcastically, throwing a popcorn at the TV. Piper was suddenly glad the music was so loud. She looked around anyway to check if there weren’t any people too close to them but apparently, no one wanted to sit next to the angry pregnant lady at a party.

“I don’t know what happened in there,” Piper admitted, sitting down next to her best friend. “It’s not like I was planning on this to happen.”

“Well, you did invite her to the party, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but not to make out with her.”

“Right.”

“I even invited her girlfriend, too.”

“Oh, so it’s a threesome?” Polly couldn’t but shoot Piper a spiteful glance.

“Shut up,” Piper sighed. “It all just sort of happened. We were talking and…”

“And what, all of a sudden you felt the need to check her tonsils with your tongue?”

“Polly…”

“I just don’t get it,” Polly wouldn’t let her finish. “What is it with you and this woman? I thought you said she was bad for you. And that you were over her. You finally made a good life for yourself and now you’ll just let her barge in and fuck it up again?”

“It’s complicated, Polly…”

“Yeah, it always fucking is with her. Were you not thinking at all? Your fucking _fiancé_ was in the next room the whole time for crying out loud!”

“I know,” Piper mumbled with her head down.

“What if I hadn’t come in? What? Would you have done it in your and your fiancé’s bedroom? _While_ he’s in the living room?”

Piper didn’t answer because truth be told, they probably would have. At least Piper had definitely been intending to at that moment and knowing Alex, she had no doubt the other women would be against it, too. Polly understood the silence.

“So what does that mean? Are you having an affair with her?” Polly asked, staring at Piper who averted her eyes.

“No, it’s not like that. I don’t want to get back together.”

“You sure? Because from where I was standing, it sure didn’t look like you were fighting her off. Unless her weaknesses include being topless with you on her face.”

“It was just in the heat of the moment,” Piper said, finally looking at Polly. “I don’t want her back, trust me.”

“I would, honey, but after that whole image I’m not sure I can.”

“God, this is just _so_ fucked up,” Piper hid her face in her palms and Polly’s expression finally softened. She moved over on the couch and hugged her friend around the shoulders, stroking her head.

“I don’t even know how I feel anymore,” Piper sobbed into her palms. “It’s like there are two of me. One knows this is so fucking wrong and the other is a twenty-three-years-old me and just says fuck it, go kiss her.”

“Of course you don’t know how to feel. You loved her,” Piper could only imagine how hard this was for Polly to say. She hated Alex so much, Piper wished she could borrow some of that hatred to make all this easier.

“You haven’t seen her for years and now she has brought up those feelings back,” Polly continued. “It’s normal you’re feeling confused.”

“But I’m not in love with her anymore. I love Larry,” Piper said weakly. “But just being around her, I completely forget about him. About everything. What the fuck’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing’s wrong with you, Piper,” Polly sighed, rubbing Piper’s back and trying to comfort her. “She just has that effect on you. She always had.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit longer than usual, because a) I didn't know where to end it, and b) I have a really busy week ahead so I don't know if I'll be able to update every day.  
> Thanks for the comments and thanks for reading!

The day after her birthday party, Piper felt like she had been ran over by a bus. And she wasn’t even hungover because the only drink she had had was a glass of champagne during Larry’s toast at the very beginning of the party. The apartment was a huge mess but Piper was glad because she needed to do something, so she wouldn’t think about Alex. Cleaning up the apartment at eight in the morning after the party was a great activity to get her mind off things.

It was hard not to think about _her_ , though. Even when she tried to focus on the cleaning, her mind randomly wandered off back to the gorgeous tall brunette and what she had said, and somehow also her lips.

She was sure she didn’t want to go down that road with Alex again, yet the only thing she could think about lately wasn’t her fiancé or their wedding. It was Alex.

It felt so good to touch her again, to kiss her. Piper had tried to delete that past from her mind and she almost forgot how much she actually missed Alex. She tried to deny everything but the fact was she missed having her around. She missed her smug smile, her deep voice, her stupid sarcastic banter, and even the small things like the beautiful tattoos or the way she would always adjust her glasses knowingly. She missed the fireworks and the adventures. She missed the familiarity. Most of all, she missed holding her and having her close.

Piper shook her head to get rid of those thoughts. She should not be thinking about her ex this way. She threw out one empty cup after another, trying to think about something else. But every time she ended up remembering last night and the kiss.

Piper didn’t see Alex at the party again, even though she bumped into Malia two more times, both of which included Malia having troubles with speaking and walking. She was so wasted, Piper even forgot her natural hatred towards her and considered calling her a cab to give her a ride home, but the younger woman declined and called the taxi herself only two minutes later. Before that, Piper had to survive a long one-way conversation with her to find out that Malia is twenty-nine, an aspiring artist and is not, in fact, Hawaiian. The very drunk woman told Piper her secret of being adopted at the age of five by a rich Hawaiian family. They even changed her name because the kids made fun of her; her actual name was Martha. And Piper made a promise to herself to call her that should they ever meet again.

Piper’s train of thoughts was interrupted by Larry, who walked out of the bedroom at least an hour after Piper had begun cleaning up the apartment. She looked at him, just as she dropped the last garbage bag into the hall to take it out later. Larry was holding his head as he limped to the kitchen, not noticing Piper behind him. She followed him quietly.

“Piper?” Larry asked, looking around the kitchen. Piper walked closer to him.

“Yes, dear?”

“Jesus!” he exclaimed quickly turning around and nearly falling in the process. He caught his right leg looking at his ankle. “Ow! My ankle! What the hell did I do last night?”

“I don’t know,” Piper shook her head. The last time she saw Larry at the party was when Alex arrived. After that, she sobbed for a couple minutes in Polly’s arms before going to sleep, not interrupted much by the party outside her room. She had to throw everyone’s jackets out into the hall but no one seemed to have cared at that point.

“I went to sleep kind of early. Does it hurt?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t have much fun, did you?”

 _I had too much fun_ , Piper thought bitterly. “No, I had but I was really tired from work. Trying to get Barney’s back and all.”

“No, it’s okay if you didn’t have fun. I know you wanted Alex to show up, even though you wouldn’t admit it.”

Piper chewed on her lip, brushing past Larry, going behind the kitchen counter and turning back to him. He sat down on the bar stool reaching out for her hand over the counter. She took his offered hand with a soft sigh.

What was the point of telling him Alex had made it to the party after all? How would Piper explain why she left so quickly?

Piper felt so guilty suddenly, unlike last night. She wanted to tell Larry the truth because she didn’t want to lie to him. But she couldn’t tell him the truth either. He was so sweet, caring, worried about Piper and everything, and she didn’t want to break his heart. She didn’t deserve him.

“I know it sucks,” Larry went on. “She could’ve at least texted you or something. I mean how rude is that?”

Piper wrenched her hand from his and turned around, all of a sudden deciding it was the best time to wash the dishes she had piled up at the sink.

“I’m sorry, I was just…”

“You should have that ankle checked out,” Piper interrupted him, changing the subject. “Want me to give you a ride to the ER? Or call you a cab?”

Larry sighed behind her, knowing the conversation about Alex was definitely over. Piper heard him limp out of the kitchen.

“It’ll be fine.”

 

* * *

 

When the apartment was finally clean and organized again, Piper sat down to enjoy her reward – caramel coffee. Just as she turned on the TV, her phone started ringing in the bedroom.

“Piper! It’s Polly. Want me to get it?” Larry called out from the room but Piper was already on her way to pick it up.

Larry had returned to bed after their short conversation and slept through the entire morning to get over his hangover. As Piper entered the room, he seemed like the phone was what finally woke him up. He handed her the ringing phone and got up to go to the bathroom. Piper sat on the bed as she picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” Polly said, empathy in her voice. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, I guess,” Piper mumbled but it was a lie. She felt pretty much the same as she did last night, only worse. Crappy. Confused. Guilty. Like the world’s biggest cheating scumbag.

“Want me to come over?” Polly offered.

“No, you have enough on your plate as it is, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“I worry about you all the time, you stupid ex-lesbian.”

Piper rolled her eyes but smiled at that. She heard Pete’s voice in the background. “Oh, are you talking to Piper? Tell her I said hi.”

“Pete says hi,” Polly said reluctantly.

“I heard.”

“Listen, I have to go now but I’ll stop by later, alright?”

“No, you don’t have to…” Piper objected weakly but frankly she would be glad to see Polly again, just for the moral support and not having to hide anything from her.

“Right, be there at around five. Bye.” With that Polly hung up, just as Larry reappeared from the bathroom.

“What did Polly want?” he asked and still limping he walked over to sit down next to Piper.

“She’ll stop by at five. We need a girl talk.”

“You seem to be having a lot of those recently.”

“We’re girls. That’s what we do.”

“Is it about Alex?” he asked and Piper froze.

She felt the guilt falling onto her again and burying her deep under her lies. He was genuinely worried for Piper’s alleged friendship with Alex, and even though he was a bit nosy despite Piper’s request not to discuss it, he meant well. Piper couldn’t even look at him.

“Kind of,” Piper admitted finally

“Polly knows her, too?”

“She hates her,” Piper answered truthfully. “They never hung out much, though, they only tolerated each other in my presence. Well, Alex didn’t mind Polly. She loved teasing her and messing with her, actually. Kept pretending to forget her name, joking about her hair or boyfriends, stuff like that.”

“Someone actually messed with Polly?” Larry asked, surprised. Polly wasn’t definitely a shy girl to be bossed around or mocked. To Piper’s knowledge, no one but Alex could get to her.

“Alex did.”

“Wow, she must be pretty scary.”

Piper laughed at that. “I guess she is to some people.”

“Not to you.”

Piper glared at Larry. She pressed her lips together and got up. Larry understood the moment of sharing was over and sighed loudly. Piper left him in the bedroom and returned to her coffee and TV-shows.

 

* * *

 

 

Polly came on time, bringing Pete with. Piper was a little surprised by that when she opened the door. As they greeted each other, Larry appeared in the hall, still limping a bit.

“How’s your ankle, mate?” Pete asked with an amused grin.

“Hurts. You know what happened?” Larry frowned at him.

“Yeah,” Pete chuckled and walked with Larry into the living room. “The dude you were sucking up to all night dared you to get him his beer without touching the floor…”

“Bedroom?” Polly looked at Piper, who only nodded and they walked inside the room, sitting on the bed.

“I brought Pete, figured he could keep Larry company.”

“Good thinking.”

“So?”

“What?”

“Want to tell me what actually happened? Without sobbing this time?” Polly smiled and Piper shook her head, squinting a little.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Always,” Polly widened her grin. Piper rolled her eyes. “No, really. Tell me what happened. Except for the obvious part of having a tall brunette stuck to your face.”

“Well,” Piper began, ignoring that last comment and staring at the floor. “We were talking. And she said something about me dating a guy and it just sounded like I never cared for her. So I got mad, started yelling a little. And then, before I knew it, she was kissing me.”

“You two have always had a weird relationship,” Polly frowned jokingly, attempting to cheer her friend up.

“Yeah, well, so I pushed her back at first but then… Polly it was _me_ who kissed her again. _I_ actually initiated it the second time. I’m such a fuck up.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Polly sighed, hugging her around her shoulders. Piper rested her head on Polly, trying hard not to cry again.

“But it was just a one time thing, right?”

“Yeah…”

“It’s okay, Piper,” Polly said, patting her head. “It’ll be okay.”

 

* * *

 

“… and then we took you to bed because you seemed unconscious anyway, so the party was over.”

“What? What if I had hit my head?!” Larry freaked out. “Shouldn’t you have at least made sure I was okay?”

“We did. You said something like ‘Rock on, bitches!’ and then you passed out,” Pete laughed, sipping his beer. Larry couldn’t even smell the alcohol right now, so he held onto his third cup of coffee of that day.

He shook his head, laughing as well. Then he looked around his shoulder to see the closed bedroom door. Polly and Piper had been there for fifteen minutes, while Pete introduced Larry to all the events of last night.

“I’ll be right back,” Larry said, mumbling an excuse to go to the bathroom. Pete just nodded and took out his phone to replace Larry’s company. Larry walked to the bedroom door. The walls were pretty thin, so it was easy for him to hear what Polly was just saying.

“Of course you’re confused right now. That’s what exes do, they mess with your head, even if they don’t want to – which frankly I don’t think this is the case.”

“Polly,” Piper stopped her.

“I’m just saying, your ex is pure evil.”

 _It was about Piper’s ex? Why didn’t she tell me?_ Larry thought, as he pressed his ear against the door like a child trying to eavesdrop on the adults.

“Polly!”

“Sorry,” Polly apologized. “But you gotta admit, it kinda sounds like she’s doing it on purpose. She’s always been manipulative.”

 _She?! Piper dated a woman? When? WHO?_   Larry’s heart almost stopped, his mind slowly putting all the pieces together. He got it at the same time Piper said her name.

“Alex wouldn’t do that. She’s probably just as confused by all this as I am…”

“What are you doing, man?” Pete asked, staring at Larry.

Larry didn’t hear Pete coming into the hall at all and jumped up in shock when he spoke. He looked at him, stepping away from the door, just as Polly and Piper opened it.

“What are you guys doing here?” Polly asked, frowning at Pete who only apologetically glanced at his wife before turning his head to Larry.

“Were you eavesdropping?” Piper looked at Larry a little alarmed. She had a good reason to be.

“Alex is your ex-girlfriend?” Larry asked instead of answering. “You never told me you dated a girl, not to mention one you still go to lunches with.”

“Dude, how did you not know she dated girls, too?” Pete asked, as Polly sighed and shook her head, covering her face with her hand. “What?” Pete glanced at Polly but she shut him up with a single look.

“There were more?” Larry’s voice was shaking. He didn’t know if it was because it took him by surprise or because he was uncomfortable with it. The idea of Piper having a gay phase was actually kind of hot but if there were more women, where did that leave him?

“A couple,” Piper mumbled.

“I can’t believe this!”

“Well, I can’t believe you fucking eavesdropped on us, what are you twelve?” Piper got suddenly angry. Polly and Pete exchanged looks and slowly started disappearing towards the exit.

“Oh, because locking yourself in the room whispering about your exes is so mature!”

“I didn’t want you to hear because I didn’t want you to worry about it.”

“About what? That you started hanging out with your ex again? Who’s a woman? Why - why should that worry me?” Larry laughed sarcastically.

“I had one lunch with her, Larry,” Piper sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Okay, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you about her.”

“Well, you fucking should have,” Larry replied a little calmer.

“Guys,” Pete said, opening the entrance door and dragging Polly behind him. “We’re going. Fun times.”

“Yeah, see you,” Piper was the only one to speak as the married couple closed the door behind them, glad to be gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Busy week, as I was afraid. And on top of that, writer's block. The chapter is really short, more coming soon, hopefully tomorrow at the latest.

After Larry had calmed down, Piper told him the truth about Alex – not the full story, of course. She offered him a brief summary, without giving too many details. She mentioned they used to live together, she explained the travelling he knew she had done after college was also with Alex. She left out how important Alex used to be for her, she avoided the whole “love of my life” part that she was once so sure about, and she definitely hid the actual reason they broke up. She didn’t lie. Not really. She only adjusted the information to be acceptable.

“… But she was too caught up in her work, so I guess we drifted apart. I left her when she refused to even admit that.”

Larry uncharacteristically didn’t interrupt her at all during her story. They were sitting in the living room, opposite each other. He was staring at her the whole time, unable to speak. He didn’t even make a sarcastic or joking remark which surprised Piper a little. She assumed he was just shocked to find out this much about his soon-to-be-wife.

“I thought you said you hurt her a lot,” Larry remembered after a while. “If _that_ part you told me was true.”

Piper dropped her gaze, feeling guilty again, this time because of Alex. “That was true. I did hurt her. I did something really selfish.”

Larry waited for her to go on and Piper reluctantly did. “The day I broke up with her – we were in Paris – and she got a call from the States just hours after the break up. It was…” Piper swallowed, scratching the back of her hand. “Her mother died.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. She was very close to her. It came out of nowhere, Diane – her mother – was still young... Anyway, I was just leaving when Alex told me. She asked me to stay, go back to the States with her and help her deal with it. I didn’t. I left her alone. I went home. And I’ve never heard from her since… until now.”

Piper rubbed her eyes, willing the tears away. She couldn’t talk about this. She couldn’t even think about it. Talking about it meant admitting it, admitting she was a bad person. Her whole life, Piper had tried to be the good girl and she had obviously failed. She didn’t regret her decision to break up with Alex. Her only regret was leaving her that day alone.

“It wasn’t your responsibility, Piper,” Larry tried to comfort her, only making it worse somehow. “You broke up. You didn’t owe her anything.”

Piper looked at him and couldn’t believe what he was saying. He didn’t get it. Piper hoped he was only trying to be supportive and that he didn’t actually mean the things he said. She suddenly imagined what it would be like if they broke up. Would she stop existing for him the second he left?

“She had no one left and she needed someone. She needed _me_ ,” Piper whispered. “And I turned my back on her.”

Larry didn’t offer a respond to that, only averted his eyes. Piper sighed and reached out for his hands over the table. He took her both hands, glancing at her again.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you. I was scared what you would think and I didn’t want to drag you into this mess.”

“I guess I understand,” Larry nodded, smiling a little. “Do you have any more complicated history with ex-girlfriends I should know about?”

“No, just this one,” Piper gave him a weak smile back.

“Can you tell me just one thing, though?” Larry asked, letting go of her hands and nervously folding his arms on his chest.

“What?”

“Did you love her? Alex? Did you love Alex?” Larry repeated the question as if it wasn’t clear what he had meant the first time around.

Piper hesitated. She considered lying again. She wanted to tell him it was just a fling. A phase. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t deny the existence of what they used to have anymore.

Somehow, the memory of last night made its way back into Piper’s head. She remembered the way Alex looked at her just before Piper kissed her. She saw the past reflecting in her eyes, she could see their whole story in them at that moment. And it was warm and exciting at the same time. Piper couldn’t deny that love, even though she had tried to for so many years. She couldn’t deny it at that moment and she could never deny it again.

Piper winced, suddenly realizing she was taking too long to answer. She convinced herself to look into Larry’s eyes, already expecting his reaction.

“I did.”

Larry nodded slightly, then smiled for himself and glanced down. He seemed to be having an internal fight with himself, as if he was trying to decide his next words.

Piper waited patiently, while considering telling him the truth about last night as well. After all, they were getting married. In theory, there should be no more secrets between them. Piper didn’t want to start their marriage with a big fat lie already pinned to her chest. Larry was a nice guy. Maybe he would forgive her the accidental slip up with an ex. And it was only a kiss. The fact that they would have probably done more had Polly not disturbed them was insignificant to Piper.

However, Larry’s next question completely changed Piper’s mind about confessing more. He sounded scared and jealous, his voice shaking again.

“Do you still… love her?”

“No!” Piper answered immediately. “Of course not.”

“But you did go to that lunch with her.”

“Yeah, just to apologize for leaving her when her mother had passed away. I just wanted to… make things right.”

“Okay,” Larry nodded, then he snorted. “Thank god she didn’t come to the party last night. That would’ve been awkward.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, yeah, so I felt bad for leaving you with just that short thing that can barely be called a chapter. Hope I'll get to update soon again, but as mentioned, I'm having a very busy week, especially tomorrow. So fingers crossed.

Piper didn’t come clean about Alex. Larry seemed to be convinced the whole Alex thing was over. Piper would have liked that, too, but her thoughts were what kept it wide open in the next couple of weeks. Alex never called and neither did Piper. Both women knew the kiss was a mistake and they were too embarrassed to talk about it. However bad Piper felt, she couldn’t help but miss Alex as well. She wanted them to be friends so badly, she even picked up her cell multiple times, staring at it, trying to dial Alex’s number but always changing her mind. Actually, Alex’s words changed it for her. _We were never friends. I still don’t want us to be._

Piper didn’t want to bother Alex with her friendship offers. Whatever she meant by that, Piper at least knew that for Alex, friendship was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Larry, who had made a great impression on Brad and Sally’s boss – Piper had still no idea who those people were – got the job at the small Brooklyn paper. It was probably read by only four to six people but Larry seemed to be enjoying being an employed writer again. At least he had to be at work during the day, which gave Piper finally some alone time. Piper worked from home, or sometimes from Polly’s place. She tried to think of a way how to expand their tiny business but so far couldn’t come up with an acceptable budget. She just hoped the Barney’s deal would go through. The Barney’s people rescheduled with them and the meeting was supposed to be next month. Piper only prayed that Polly wouldn’t feel like giving a birth to her child almost a month and a half before her due date.

On Piper’s birthday, Larry woke her up with a surprise breakfast in bed, apologizing he had to go to work early, but promising a fancy dinner in Piper’s favorite restaurant. Piper couldn’t say no to that.

She spent her day mostly thanking everyone for their birthday wishes, avoiding work for the day. Polly stopped by for a lunch, bringing Piper her favorite lemon cake and some of her very own homemade lotions that were soon-to-be-added to PoPi’s line.

At half past six, Larry asked Piper to meet him at the restaurant because he got caught up in work. Piper didn’t blame him, she actually felt a little proud of her _fiancé_ being all adult and having a stable job.

Piper dressed up for the event, trying to remember if Larry at least wore a suit to work, so she wouldn’t be overdressed. She picked a black cocktail dress, one she had never worn before, and added high heels to go with it. She put on a leather jacket to make her look little more casual. She called a cab and at exactly seven, she entered the restaurant. It was a lot fancier than Little Paul’s and also a lot more crowded. There was a line of people waiting to be seated. Piper walked past them, heading to the hostess.

“Hi, I should have a reservation for two. Under the name Bloom. Larry Bloom.”

The hostess frowned at her. She seemed stressed and annoyed but she looked into her tablet, searching for the name.

“Yes, I see you. Unfortunately, you cannot be seated unless the whole party is here.”

“Oh. My fiancé should be here any minute, can I just…”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, I cannot help you until both of you are here,” the hostess said and Piper understood it was her time to move to the line of waiting people. She stood at the end of it, sighing loudly, and took out the phone from her purse. She had a text from Larry, only 2 minutes old.

“ _Honey, I’m sorry, I can’t make it. Barry called me back, apparently there was a problem with my article and the deadline’s at eight. Try to enjoy the food, I’ll meet you at home later. So sorry.”_

Piper read that message and felt the irrational anger growing inside of her with each word. She had been stood up by her fiancé on her birthday. Her phone buzzed because of another text and Piper almost threw the phone across the room. It was probably Larry adding more lame apologies. Piper didn’t want to read it but as she tried to stuff her phone back into the purse, she noticed the notification said a different name. The text was from Alex. Piper was so shocked by it that she accidentally dropped her phone into the purse.

She retrieved it quickly and opened the text. It was a short birthday wish. “ _Happy birthday, kid. How’s your mid-life crisis going?”_

Piper smiled against her will and decided to text her right back.

“ _Thanks. I’m not having one yet. I think._ ”

She hit send and before she could even put her phone back into her purse, Alex responded.

“ _You sure? You seem to be, standing all alone in the line for the sad & poor._”

Piper froze, looked around and there she was. Alex Vause was sitting at the bar, smirking at her across the room. Piper chuckled, looking down, and she walked over to the bar slowly. As she got closer, she noticed Alex’s cocked eyebrow and pursed lips forming an amused expression. Her outfit resembled Piper’s, as if they had planned this. She wore dark dress with long sleeves but showing off her long legs. _God, this woman was all legs._

“Are you stalking me?” Piper asked jokingly as she stopped at the bar next to her. Alex, spinning slightly on her bar stool with her legs crossed grinned even more and patted on the stool next to her.

“Saved you a seat, my dear,” she said and Piper took the seat. It’s not like she had better plans now.

“So what are you doing here?” Piper asked, as the bartender approached them.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Fetch my lady a margarita, Tommy. And one for me, as well,” Alex smiled at the bartender and he nodded with a knowing smile, disappearing to make the drinks.

“I’m not staying for a drink,” Piper objected quickly.

“Non-sense,” Alex waved her hand. “It’s your birthday, you can afford one drink with me.”

“Well, what if I have plans?”

“Do you?” Alex lifted her brows again, sipping the rest of her martini.

“Well… No. Not anymore.”

“So, you’re having a drink with me,” Alex decided and Piper had to admit her logic was bulletproof.

“Fine,” she sighed, putting her phone into her purse and closing it. “So why are you here today?”

“Oh, I went on a date,” Alex explained and Piper frowned.

“I don’t see your date,” she said, then jumped off the bar stool. “Oh, sorry, did I sit on Malia? I didn’t see her!”

“Ha-ha,” Alex fake-laughed but she actually seemed to be amused by that. “I assume you’re making a reference to her height. Any more comments on her?”

“Yeah, we got pretty close.”

“Did you now?”

“Uh-huh. Malia and I are practically besties. Or should I say ‘Martha and I’?” Piper giggled, returning to her seat as the bartender brought the drinks.

“Put in on my tab,” Alex said to him and quickly turned back to Piper.

“I see she told you her darkest secret.”

“Now I know some dirt on both of you. I like having that much power.”

“Should I be worried?” Alex’s brows shot up once again, as she passed Piper her drink. They clinked glasses and both took a small sip, and then put the drinks back onto the bar.

“Always,” Piper smiled innocently but her smile faded slowly as she realized she was unwillingly flirting with the woman. Again. This could not be happening. She changed the subject quickly. “So where is Malia?”

“In Greece, hopefully.”

“What?”

“She’s in Greece. I wasn’t on a date with her tonight.”

“Wow, look at you, all wild and unchained again,” Piper shook her head trying to cover her sudden unwanted feeling of jealousy with a smirk.

“Malia is not my actual girlfriend,” Alex admitted, her face suddenly all serious.

“What do you mean?” Piper stopped smiling and looked at Alex, confused.

“She’s just a fucking mule, okay?” Alex said and Piper almost laughed.

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that you, the almighty Alex Vause, were trying to impress me with a made-up girlfriend?” her smile back on, Piper took another sip of her drink, trying desperately not to laugh. Alex avoided her glare.

“Maybe.”

“I’m disappointed in you, Al,” Piper chuckled but dropped the topic, because she knew Alex was uncomfortable. “So what happened to your date?”

“Oh, I got bored of her, so I ended up at the bar,” Alex explained and then looked at Piper. “What happened to your date?”

“What?”

“Well, I don’t assume you put these on just to eat alone in this snooty place on your birthday,” she pointed at her dress, her eyes stopping at her chest for a second. Piper ignored it and tried to hide the nostalgic smile.

“Larry got stuck at work.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“You have just the worst of luck when it comes to your lovers’ jobs,” Alex said, grinning widely. Piper crinkled her nose at the word “lovers”. She always hated that word for some reason. It felt like she had an affair with that person, not a relationship.

“At least you finally admit it,” Piper murmured sourly.

“Oh, I meant excluding me,” she added laughing.

“Right,” Piper offered a weak smile, sighing as she felt her phone buzzing in her purse. She took it out. It was Larry calling her. She picked it up only reluctantly and she felt Alex’s eyes on her. Piper looked away.

“Piper, I’m really sorry,” he said instead of hi.

“It’s fine,” Piper mumbled.

“I should be done here in ten, then I’ll meet you at home and I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

“Yeah, okay. Meet you there,” Piper sighed again.

“I’m sorry,” Larry repeated. “I love you. Gotta go. See you at home.”

“Right,” Piper said but he already hung up.

“Trouble in the paradise?” Alex asked, titling her head, grinning. She was enjoying this way too much.

“I could just kill him right now,” Piper said through clenched teeth. “But I can’t because he finally has a job and that’s what I wanted for him all along but…”

“But you didn’t want to spend your birthday drinking with your ex?” Alex’s smile slowly fell and Piper glared at her for a few seconds before answering.

“No. I’m glad you’re here,” she said, meaning it. “You know what? Fuck him. I’m not going to spend my birthday waiting for his stupid ass to get home. I’m gonna get wasted!” Piper decided, downing the rest of her margarita.

Alex stared at her, her expression a mix of amusement and surprise. She caught up, finishing her drink, too, and ordered two shots of tequila.

“Alright, kid, just like the old times,” she said when they each held their shot. They clinked, downing the shots as well. Alex shook her head, making a hilarious face at which Piper couldn’t help but laugh.

“What?” Alex asked, setting the empty shot glass down.

“You always make a funny face when you’re doing shots.”

“Funny adorable?” Alex lifted her brows, her lips forming her typical smug smirk.

“If you say so,” Piper giggled. Alex ordered two more shots but Piper had to stop her by putting a hand on hers.

“This doesn’t mean anything. I’m just getting drunk and so are you. No funny business this time. You promise?”

“Gee, you’re spoiling all the fun,” Alex rolled her eyes mockingly.

“ _Alex_.”

“Fine, I’ll try to control myself,” she said sarcastically, looking down at Piper’s hand on her forearm. “So should you.”

Piper frowned at her, letting go of her arm and taking the new shot, drinking it before Alex had a chance to even grab her own. Piper took out her phone once again and decided to text Larry before she was too drunk to do that.

“ _Out with a friend. Don’t wait up._ ”

She knew this would make Larry think he was in trouble and that was exactly her intention, even though she knew she couldn’t really blame him. But he deserved to suffer for one night after leaving her alone on her birthday.

“That’s it,” Alex said, snatching Piper’s phone out of her hands just as she hit send on the text for Larry. “No more phones. You’ll get this back after the class.”

Piper didn’t protest as Alex stuffed the phone into her own purse and she didn’t say a word either, when the brunette ordered more alcohol.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I managed to update sooner than I thought because of one simple reason. I got injured while doing sports (yes, I do sports, shush) so I took the rest of the day off. I bruised - well, maybe broke, who knows, it's all blue - my little finger so typing this chapter hurt me physically, so you guys better appreciate the crap out of it.  
> Joking, thanks for reading and enjoy!  
> (PS alright I lied, I don't do sports. I just accidentally ended up playing volleyball and this happened. Typical.)

As Piper woke up the following morning, she regretted everything, even though she remembered barely the first half of the night. She was surprised that she found herself lying on the couch in her own living room. She had no idea how she got home. She still had her dress on but the jacket and the shoes were on the floor next to her.

Piper slowly sat up, holding her head which was throbbing. Piper looked around for her purse, only to find out she had been lying on it the whole time. She searched for her phone to check the time but couldn’t find it.

“Morning, sunshine,” Larry said coming into the living room, still in his PJ’s, an amused expression on his face. “Had bit too much fun last night?”

“I think,” Piper nodded and frowned at him. “What time is it?”

“Only nine. You came back like four hours ago,” he added, walking to the kitchen. “I tried to get you to bed but you kicked me saying you were comfortable on the couch.”

“Sorry,” Piper mumbled.

“Yeah,” Larry half-smiled. “Want some coffee?”

“Please,” Piper breathed out and got up to her feet, setting the purse on table in front of the couch.

“I’m sorry about last night,” Larry said immediately as she joined him in the kitchen, taking a seat on the bar stool. “I shouldn’t have ditched you on your birthday. That was a jerk move.”

Piper tried to remember what actually happened last night. She knew everything up until the point Alex took her phone. _That’s it! She still must have her phone._

Then it was just random images, pieces of conversation and, interestingly, some dancing was involved. Piper had a faint memory of visiting a night club last night, which explained why she smelled of sweat, spilled alcohol and smoke.

“It’s okay. You had to work, I get it. I had fun anyway,” Piper’s voice was a little husky. She felt dehydrated. “Could you pass me some water?”

“Sure,” Larry nodded and almost instantly passing her a glass of fresh water. “Want something for the headache, too?”

“Couldn’t hurt.”

“So,” Larry began as he handed her another glass of water with a fizzy tablet in it. “Who were you with? I tried to call you like five times and you didn’t answer. And then I called Polly, she said she had no idea where you were.”

“I have more friends than just Polly, you know,” Piper said, taking the glass.

“I know, I know.”

Piper sighed. She could have told him she was with Alex. Nothing happened. She knew she _should_ have told him. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She was too hungover to face him.

“I’m gonna take a shower and sleep some more,” Piper told him instead, as if the conversation was over, and walked away.

Her sleep didn’t last long, though. At eleven, she was woken up by the doorbell. It kept ringing and Larry didn’t seem to react, so Piper was eventually forced to scramble out of the bed and go open the door.

 

* * *

 

 

“Wow,” Alex laughed as soon as the door opened.

“Alex?” Piper stared at her, surprise and confusion in her puffy eyes underlined with dark shadows.

“Wow,” she repeated, inviting herself in, brushing past Piper. “You look awful.”

“Thanks,” Piper frowned, closing the door and turning around. She didn’t really look that bad. Alex had seen a lot of Piper’s hangovers that were way worse.

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I found this,” Alex said, taking Piper’s phone out of her bag. “Figured it was yours. Unless I stole it from someone else, which I don’t remember.”

“No, it’s mine,” Piper nodded and took it from her. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Alex said, grinning at Piper.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Did something happen last night? Did we...?”

“No! No,” she shook her head quickly. “You just look terrific.”

 _Of course she doesn’t remember_.

Nothing did _technically_ happen. But the impression Alex got from Piper last night…

“Shut up,” Piper rolled her eyes.

“Still a lightweight, huh?”

“Well, you poured like a full liquor store into me last night, so…”

“Aw, look at you, kid, always making excuses for your terrible drinking skills,” she smiled smugly, still very amused by the whole situation, despite the fact Piper didn’t remember _anything_.

“Alright, fine, but can you come mock me later when I’m _not_ hungover?” Piper cried desperately and held her head. Alex’s smile turned into a pretend disappointment.

“You’re taking all the fun out of it.”

“Well, my head is killing me, so I don’t really care about being the party pooper.”

“Fine, I’ll go,” Alex said, walking back to the door past Piper, who stopped her by putting a hand on her arm.

“Thanks for… this,” she raised the hand with her phone.

“Sure,” Alex nodded.

“And for this,” Piper added, pointing at her forehead. “I had fun.”

“Yeah… Me too,” she said in all honesty, staring into her eyes way longer than necessary.

The moment, however, was interrupted by someone opening the door. Alex looked around her shoulder and saw Piper’s fiancé Gary, Harry, whatever his name was. He stopped in the door, staring at them a little surprised. His eyes flicked between Piper and Alex, and then they stopped at Piper’s hand on Alex’s arm. Piper suddenly realized she was still touching her and put her hand down.

“Hey,” Piper said, her eyes wide.

“Hi,” the fiancé said, almost as awkwardly as Piper. “I was just out to get some food,” he raised the paper bag in his hands. “I didn’t know we were expecting any guests.” His eyes returned to Alex. She had a hunch he already guessed who she was.

“Oh,” Piper blinked and exchanged a look with Alex who could practically see her brain overheating, trying to think of a lie to get out of this situation.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” the fiancé asked Alex, frowning a little – another sign that he already knew the answer to his question.

“Larry, this is…” Piper paused, at first looking like she was choking on the words. But then her gaze met Alex’s and something snapped inside of her. Something changed. As if the simple power of Alex’s look gave Piper the strength to finally come clean.

“This is Alex,” she said, staring at her fiancé firmly, almost defiantly.

“Oh…” he exhaled, dropping his gaze. He put the groceries on the small table next to him before looking up, eyes fixed on Alex.

“And what is _Alex_ doing here?” his tone was surprisingly neutral, although even Alex, who just met the guy, could tell he was hiding the jealousy and bitterness he felt.

And Piper could tell, too, because she suddenly changed her expression completely. She looked upset, angry even.

“She dropped by to return my phone.”

“I’m sorry, _what_?” Larry asked, his fake neutrality gone. Meanwhile Alex watched them as if she was at a tennis match.

“Last night… I was out with her,” Piper said, glimpsing at Alex who couldn’t help but crack a tiny smile at the corner of her mouth.

The fiancé seemed as if she had just hit him with a baseball bat. He was completely speechless and his brown eyes were like puppy’s. Very hurt puppy’s eyes. He stared at Piper in disbelief, like he was thinking: “How dare you to go out with your ex?!”, which, naturally, made Piper look even angrier. Alex, however amused by the guy’s suffering, decided it was best to leave them some privacy.

“I should go,” she announced, getting no response from Larry. It was like he was in shock and couldn’t hear anything happening around him.

“Thanks,” Piper practically whispered, raising the hand with the phone but Alex knew she meant more than that. She gave her a smile and then brushed past Larry, who gladly stood out of her way.

 

* * *

 

 

_“I told him about you.”_

_“What?” Alex looked at Piper, unsure of what exactly she meant._

_“I told Larry about us. Our history, I mean,” Piper specified._

_“Ah,” Alex leaned back on her chair. They moved from the bar to a table because Piper got hungry, so Alex invited her to dinner. Unlike Piper, she had no trouble actually getting a table in this plush restaurant. Piper just finished her meal and her tipsiness was starting to show. By sharing random stuff, for example._

_Alex couldn’t believe what Piper was saying. Did she really admit to her boyfriend – fiancé – she used to date a woman? Piper? Really?_

_“And how did it go?”_

_“He took it well, I guess,” Piper shrugged. “But I didn’t tell him about the kiss.”_

_“Well, that would’ve been stupid.”_

_“Because it meant nothing.”_

_“Exactly.”_

_Piper held Alex’s gaze for a while before she knocked back the rest of her margarita. Then she inhaled deeply and found Alex’s eyes again._

_“But what if it did mean something?” she blurted out, almost instantly regretting her question._

_“What?” Alex frowned slightly, confused._

_“Nothing…” Piper mumbled._

_Alex decided not to push it. Piper swiftly changed the topic and they pretended nothing had happened. Again._

 

_Later that night, after they had moved to a club few blocks from the restaurant, Piper needed some fresh air after all the dancing. Alex went outside with her, a little surprised by the fact Piper was still standing. She had a lot to drink and she usually passed out way sooner._

_Piper staggered as they got onto the sidewalk in front of the night club and Alex put an arm around her waist to help her regain balance._

_“Hey, easy there, Pipes,” Alex laughed, as Piper nearly tripped over her own feet. Alex held her tight and didn’t allow her drunk body to go down. Piper put an arm around her shoulders._

_“Why do we always end up so hammered?” Piper wondered aloud._

_“You always end up hammered,” Alex reminded her. “I drink responsibly.”_

_“Please, there’s no such thing.”_

_“You’re probably right,” Alex chuckled._

_“But you always did take care of me at parties,” Piper continued, turning to Alex, so they were nearly chest to chest._

_“Well, yeah, someone had to or else you’d still be somewhere in the middle of Bangkok, hiding behind a freezer.”_

_“Hey!” Piper laughed. “I was sure that guy was stalking me.”_

_“You mean the imaginary green-skinned man in yellow suit? Yeah, that was a flower, Pipes.”_

_“Don’t be such a racist.”_

_“That was the first time you got high,” Alex smiled nostalgically, staring off into the distance._

_“And the last time,” Piper shivered. “You could’ve at least told me what was in that cake.”_

_“I didn’t know. Fahri pranked you,” Alex defended herself but the truth was, the idea was hers. Fahri only got way too excited about it and decided to document the whole thing. Alex still had the photos somewhere in her apartment._

_Piper’s laugh slowly fell silent as her eyes met Alex’s. “Sometimes I feel… like I’m missing something, you know?”_

_“You miss getting accidentally high? Because I can arrange that,” Alex offered jokingly, receiving a soft punch in her shoulder._

_“I’m serious,” Piper said. “I miss the stories. I miss the adventures. I miss…” Piper paused, shaking her head. “Just all of it.”_

_Alex, suddenly aware of the fact that she was still holding Piper around her waist, leaned back but she also nodded._

_“Yeah, me too,” she exhaled._

_“Was the kiss a huge mistake?” Piper asked, trying to find the answer in Alex’s eyes. Alex remained quiet because she had no idea. And she felt like any answer would be wrong._

_“If it was such a bad thing,” Piper went on, looking perfectly sober all of a sudden. “Why did it feel so right?”_

_When she didn’t receive any response, she closed her eyes and leaned in for a kiss. But just before their lips connected, Piper stopped herself and rested her forehead against Alex’s._

_“You said no funny business tonight,” Alex whispered._

_“I know,” Piper breathed out weakly._

_They stayed like that for a few seconds before Piper pulled away and stepped back from Alex, who let go of her. Piper sat down on the curb, sighing loudly. Alex joined her and let Piper rest her head on her shoulder._

_After a long moment of silence, Alex couldn’t hold it any longer. “Pipes?”_

_“Yeah?” Piper said without looking up or moving._

_“Can I ask you something? I don’t want to make you angry, I just need to know…”_

_“Okay…?”_

_“Are you really happy with that guy?” she asked._

_There was no reason a person would act like this with their ex if they were truly happy in their relationship… Right?_

_“I don’t know,” Piper replied, her voice unsure as if she was realizing the meaning of her answer as she was saying it. “I thought I was. I_ knew _I was. Now… I don’t know anymore.”_

_Alex nodded, even though Piper’s head was still on her shoulder and she wasn’t looking at her. Then Alex reached out for Piper’s hand. Piper didn’t flinch, she only looked down at their fingers tangling together for the first time in so long. Alex stroke Piper’s thumb gently with her own and leaned her head against Piper’s, closing her eyes and for a minute forgetting how messed up this whole situation was._


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO sorry, guys, to have kept you waiting. I had the shittiest week, my broken-ish finger hurt like hell and then I had the biggest writer's block, seriously, I couldn't write a single sentence. And then Carmilla happened. I don't know if any of you guys watch it, but if you do, you surely understand why I couldn't update, and if you don't, you really need to watch it.  
> I'm still getting over said block, I found out writing on public transport helps - don't ask why, my mind works in mysterious ways - so I did that and I managed to write this chapter. So I hope you enjoy it!  
> As always, feel free to leave feedback good or bad and thanks for reading!

“What do you mean you were out with Alex?!” Larry asked as soon as Alex was gone.

“I mean that I was out with Alex,” Piper answered coldly, turning around and walking back into the bedroom. Larry followed her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he continued, his voice shaking.

“Because I knew you would freak out,” Piper looked at him.

“What? I’m not…” he cleared his throat, trying hard to sound normal. “I’m not freaking out.”

Piper plugged her phone into the charger, leaving it on the nightstand. Then she turned back to Larry, lifting her brows. “Really? You’re not?”

“No, I’m just… I don’t understand why you felt the need to hide her from me. _Again_ ,” he added, dropping his gaze. “Even you have to realize that seems a little suspicious.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” Piper sighed and went over to him. “I just didn’t want you to worry about nothing.”

“Well, of course I worry,” he looked up at her. “I love you.”

“But you don’t need to worry about Alex. She is… just a friend,” Piper paused, choking on the last word. Alex was right. They had never been friends. And it was hard to call her that all of a sudden. It felt… so fake.

“I mean… don’t you trust me?” Piper asked, somehow remembering her birthday party two weeks ago and the kiss and feeling the guilt flood her once again. He was probably right not to trust her. At least not completely.

Even Piper didn’t trust herself around Alex. She had a faint memory of doing something stupid last night. She remembered thinking “ _Oh, crap, I’m gonna regret this tomorrow._ ” but she wasn’t sure _what_ she should regret. She knew nothing happened between her and Alex – and Alex even confirmed it. Did she say something to Alex? Was it about the dancing? She recalled – or she thought she did, Piper wasn’t sure if this memory even was from last night – Alex’s body pressed against hers on the dance floor. But that was only dancing. Hopefully.

Piper looked at Larry who was glaring at her with those puppy eyes of his. The jealousy disappeared from his expression and was replaced by love and trust. Piper swallowed the guilt crawling up her throat. _She should tell him about the kiss._

“I’m sorry,” he exhaled, shaking his head slightly. “I’m being an idiot. Of course I trust you.”

Well, there was no point in telling him about the kiss now anyway, after convincing him that he didn’t have anything to worry about.

“I love you,” Piper mumbled as she hugged him, her mind somewhere else.

  

* * *

 

 

The next week went surprisingly well for Piper. Larry seemed like he truly trusted her and he let the whole topic of Alex go. Alex, on the other hand, didn’t go radio silence this time, which only assured Piper that nothing really happened the night they got drunk and that they were now officially, _uhh_ , friends.

Piper couldn’t get used to it, though. Calling Alex her friend seemed harder every day, even if it was just in her mind. Obviously Alex didn’t come to her with an official acceptance letter that proved their newly found friendship. It just felt like they were what would be, under normal circumstances, called friends.

They texted, they called each other couple times during the week and they chatted about the most random things. Alex – and Piper was pretty sure this was on purpose – avoided the topic of her job. She only mentioned it twice. The first time when she announced that she would be going to Europe next weekend. For a second, Piper’s nostalgia took over and she caught herself wishing that Alex would invite her to go with her. Then she nearly slapped herself. She imagined explaining Larry a weekend getaway to Europe with her ex and then _actually_ spending a weekend in Europe with her ex and she immediately felt stupid for even thinking about it. Piper kind of missed Europe, though.

Of course, Alex didn’t ask her to go with but she did invite Piper to a party at her place. It was supposed to be a welcome home party for Malia – aka Alex’s most profitable drug mule (that was the second and last mention of Alex’s job). Malia was supposed to come back on Saturday and her actual girlfriend, Clara, who also happened to be Alex’s bestie apparently (Piper did not understand the whole situation there and she made a mental note to ask about it later), decided to surprise her.

Piper didn’t even think twice before agreeing to go. She missed the careless partying in her twenties that she didn’t get to enjoy much lately but with Alex, life seemed to be one huge never-ending party and Piper gladly jumped on that train again. She promised to herself she wouldn’t get as drunk as she did on her birthday. Mainly because that hangover lasted for good two days and Piper had the rescheduled Barney’s meeting on Monday, but also because she didn’t want to say something stupid again.

Piper didn’t figure out what it was that she said. Alex told her that she didn’t recall her saying anything too weird. But Piper was pretty sure there was something. That’s why she promised to stay from the heavy alcohol and stick to the wine – a promise, which made Alex burst out laughing when Piper presented it to her. But Alex didn’t know that Piper had changed. Her wild phase was over, now she was the nice blonde lady who drinks wine and complains about it being too sweet or dry.

 

On Saturday evening, before heading out to Alex’s party, Piper made the first mistake. She decided to tell Larry she was going to meet Polly because of the Barney’s meeting. Larry didn’t think about it that much, only paused, a little confused, looking at Piper’s dress but he didn’t say anything. Piper felt terrible. All the talk about trust and look at what she was doing right now. How could he ever trust her? Piper knew she should’ve told him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Things were going so great between them again and Piper didn’t want to be the one to ruin it.

Piper’s second mistake was not mentioning her master plan to Polly.

Alex gave Piper the address to her apartment, which turned out to be in Manhattan. Piper wasn’t surprised when her taxi pulled over at the most fancy, expensive looking apartment building around. It was a tall building with a doorman at the front. Piper didn’t know if she should call Alex or go to the mean-looking doorman but just as she opened her purse to get her phone, she heard her name called out. Piper looked up and saw Alex with some other woman she did not know.

“Alex, hi,” Piper said awkwardly, coming over to them.

“We’ll talk later. Call me if there are any problems,” Alex said to the woman who nodded and brushed past Piper as if she wasn’t even there.

Piper looked around her shoulder and watched the woman walk away. “Who’s that?” she turned back to Alex.

“Jealous?” Alex arched her brows, smirking.

Piper shot her a look. “You wish. Am I too late? People are leaving your party already… Oh, does the party suck?”

“Please,” Alex chuckled and led the way to the elevator. “My parties never suck and you know that.”

Alex was right. Her party did not suck at all. Alex lived – obviously – in the penthouse and the huge apartment was packed. Piper didn’t get a chance to look around properly because there were people everywhere but Alex gave her a brief tour. After the third bedroom, Piper gave up and requested some alcohol.

For most of the party, Alex never left Piper’s company. Sometimes people joined them, but it was mainly just them, talking and laughing a lot. Piper kept her promise not to drink anything else but wine and she stayed sober, well, maybe a little tipsy.

At around eleven, Piper got up from the couch she and Alex had been sitting on for the past two hours.

“I should go,” she announced and Alex stood up as well.

“Malia isn’t even here yet,” Alex pointed out and for a second, Piper wondered why she was mentioning her before she realized the whole party was originally for Malia.

“Well, I’m sure she’ll be crushed not to see me here.”

“I thought you were best friends!”

“Speaking of which, you still haven’t told me… _how_ are you best friends with Malia’s girlfriend? I thought you two…” Piper couldn’t finish the sentence without blushing like an idiot, which amused Alex greatly.

“Yeah, we did.”

“Oh.”

“But then Malia found a girlfriend. Turned out I liked Clara way more than Malia, so…”

“So you two…?”

Alex let Piper boil for a second before answering with a smile. “No.”

“Okay.”

“But we became friends and here we are.”

“And where’s Clara anyway?” Piper asked, looking around even though she had no idea whatsoever how that woman looked. Alex had introduced her to a lot of people but she would definitely remember if Clara was among them.

“She’s picking up Malia at the airport.”

“Oh, right.”

“Are you sure you’re not going to stay?”

“Yeah, no, I can’t.”

“Because of the _fiancé_?” Alex asked.

“Kind of,” Piper sighed. Alex opened her mouth as if to add something but she changed her mind. The look in her eyes made Piper suddenly suspicious. It seemed like she knew something about Larry. Something maybe Piper didn’t even know. But that’s ridiculous… Right?

“Alright, I’ll walk you out at least,” Alex quickly offered, noticing Piper’s expression.

They were half way down in the elevator, when Alex finally broke the silence. She turned to Piper, stepped a little closer to her and took a deep breath. Her voice sounded a little insecure, nervous even.

“You know how you asked if you had said something to me the night we went out?”

“Oh, god,” Piper muttered to herself before turning to Alex. “What did I say?”

“You asked me if I thought the kiss was a mistake.”

Piper froze. She suddenly remembered. She remembered standing in front of the night club, her body pressed against Alex’s, and she remembered stopping herself only barely from kissing her again. _Oh, god._

“And I asked you…” the elevator door opened on the first floor but neither of them moved. “I asked you if you were really happy with him.”

Piper frowned and waited for Alex to go on, unsure of where this was going. She was starting to remember the whole conversation. She heard her own answer. _I don’t know anymore_. She felt Alex’s hand in hers, her shoulder under her head. She felt again the familiar feeling she had around Alex, being safe and loved.

“I just wanted to ask you again. Sober. Ish,” she smiled a little in an attempt to joke but Piper didn’t laugh.

“Are you happy with him?” Alex’s eyes would probably burn holes into Piper’s if they could.

Piper exhaled. The truth was, she _really_ didn’t know. But there was no way she would ever say that out loud. (Unless she was under the influence, apparently.)

So Piper lied. “I am.”

That was Piper’s third mistake.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: a chapter almost entirely written on my phone on a bus.  
> Enjoy!

_She was lying._

“Okay,” Alex sighed and nodded. Then she halfheartedly attempted to smile before repeating, “Okay.”.

Piper didn’t say anything. She just stared back at Alex. She didn’t even try to sell her lie. She seemed so tired suddenly and all Alex wanted to do at that moment was to hold her. But she was “ _happy_ ” and that was a clear hint for Alex to stop pursuing whatever it was she had been trying to achieve with Piper over the past few weeks.

Alex didn’t know when she lost control. Probably the very first moment at the grocery store when they bumped into each other. Right then Alex could have guessed how this would turn out. Or maybe it was later, when she agreed to go on that lunch with Piper. Or possibly the lunch itself did the trick. Whenever it was, it scared Alex. She went from firmly hating Piper for years to… what? Caring for her again? Wanting Piper to like her? Wanting to get back together? All that carefully built hatred and anger towards Piper was gone in a matter of days. Hours. Seconds, maybe.

What it was with Piper, that she had such effect on her, Alex would never know.

Piper averted her eyes looking at the exit. “I gotta go.”

“Okay,” Alex mumbled again, not knowing how to respond. She wanted to scream “ _Stay! Don’t go back to him!_ ” but despite having lost all her self-control around Piper, she still had her pride and common sense and knew better than to do that.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Piper added, glancing at Alex one last time before leaving the elevator and walking away.

Alex watched her till she disappeared behind the corner outside on the street. Then she sighed loudly, resting her forehead on the wall of the elevator and blindly pushing a button to her apartment.

_Piper was lying._

* * *

 

 

The whole, long drive home in the cab felt like all of eternity to Piper, not half an hour. She felt terrible. She knew Alex saw right through her and that made it even worse. Now Alex knew what a coward she was. But she couldn’t admit her mixed feelings about Larry without also admitting her feelings for Alex. And in both cases, Piper _just didn’t know anymore_.

She thought her head was going to explode. Piper never felt so confused and baffled about something. The only thing she knew for sure was that she had to figure out everything soon. But all Piper wanted to do was to crawl into her bed, fall asleep and never wake up. She was so exhausted.

When she finally got home, the lights were still on. Larry was probably waiting for her. Piper went straight into the living room where Larry was sitting on the couch staring at the hallway she came from.

“Hi,” Piper said but he didn’t react. “What’s wrong?”

“You tell me,” he said, his voice sounding… dead, without life.

“What?”

“Where were you?” he asked and Piper knew immediately that somehow her lie got out. Then it hit her. She forgot to ask Polly to cover for her. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Piper didn’t answer. She didn’t want to lie again but she couldn’t tell the truth aloud either. Larry got up from the couch, crossing his arms on his chest. His tone changed as his voice started shaking.

“Were you with _her_?”

Piper made herself to look him in the eyes and regretted it right away. He looked so hurt. “Yes,” she barely whispered.

Larry nodded as if in physical pain and he closed his eyes. Piper went closer to him but he didn’t move.

“Nothing happened. We just talked.”

“Are you serious?” he laughed desperately, glaring at Piper like he couldn’t believe what she was saying. “You keep telling me that. If nothing truly happened, why did you keep it from me in the first place?”

“I didn’t…”

“You didn’t want me to worry about nothing?” he interrupted her. “Is that it? Is that the best you can come up with?”

“It’s true,” Piper dropped her gaze, feeling the guilt boil inside her.

“No,” Larry shook his head. “No. It’s not. I know it. You know it. So can we stop playing this game? I’m tired of it, Piper. Just be honest with me. Are you sleeping with her?”

“What?” Piper almost exclaimed. “No!”

“Really?” he asked, anger rising in his voice. “How can I believe you now? After you keep lying and lying about her. All the talk about trust! I feel like such an idiot. I actually felt _bad_ for not trusting you before. Looks like I was right not to.”

Piper remained silent. She could’ve argued, she could’ve defended herself but she didn’t even know how. Or what to say. Or why bother defending herself when she already felt guilty of it all. Larry was right. Of course he shouldn’t have trusted her.

“Fine,” he said after a second, a little calmer. “Let’s say you’re not sleeping with her. Let’s say you two are just friends now. But why did you lie about where you’re going?”

“I don’t know,” was all Piper managed to say. She felt like a small child that’s about to cry.

“Come on, Piper,” Larry practically hissed. “Be honest for once.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want you to feel jealous. It was just easier not to tell you.”

“No, no,” he kept shaking his head. “No. You’re not telling the truth. This is about something way more,” he paused, his eyes finding Piper’s. “Do you have feelings for her?”

Piper stared at him, unable to answer that question right away. Her thoughts ran wildly, gathering the memories, the feelings, everything from the past couple of weeks ever since she and Alex met again in that grocery store.

“I…” Piper choked on the words, Larry understanding the answer as a yes.

“Do you love her?” he asked again, his voice breaking. This time it was he who seemed like a child about to cry.

Piper couldn’t bear the look on his face.

So Piper lied, even though she wasn’t sure how big that lie was. She simply _did not know_.

“No.”

“Then why…”

“We kissed,” Piper blurted out unwillingly. She just wasn’t able to hold all the lies in anymore. Lying to Alex, Polly, Larry, everyone. She just couldn’t keep going that way.

If Piper thought Larry looked hurt before, then this was ten times worse. He looked like he just got punched in the stomach. His face was like an open book of emotions – shock, anger, betrayal, disbelief…

“What?!”

Piper took a deep breath, trying to calm down before answering. She refused to even glance in Larry’s direction.

“My birthday party,” Piper began, staring at the floor. “She showed up after all. We fought. We kissed. She left.”

“And that happened in our apartment? _While_ I was here?” Larry raised his voice.

“I’m so sorry,” Piper tried to look at him but she couldn’t take it. She looked down again. “It was a stupid mistake. It never happened again.”

“And you still went out with her? Acting like best friends? Do you seriously expect me to believe that?”

“It was a onetime thing, I swear,” Piper’s eyes finally met his. “I swear.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “I believe you.”

Piper managed to half-smile and she tried going to him but he stepped back, raising his hand to stop her.

“But I want you to stop seeing her.”

“What?” Piper frowned, stupidly hoping that he was only joking.

“I don’t want her around you,” Larry said. “Ever since she came back into your life, I don’t recognize you. She clearly has a bad influence…”

“What?!” Piper was the one angry now. “What are you, my mother?!”

“Piper, you’re not…”

“You can’t forbid me to see her. I’m not your fucking property, Larry.”

“Well, I’m sorry but I just feel uncomfortable when you make out with your ex in my own apartment! So no, I don’t want you to see her anymore!”

“You can’t be serious…” Piper shook her head in disbelief.

“How would you feel if I invited here one of my exes for a make out session, huh?”

“I didn’t plan on this to happen, Larry! It just did!”

“Right, so you tripped and fell right on her lips with your own?”

Piper opened her mouth to say something but then she just turned around, walking out of the living room.

“Where are you going? This isn’t over, Piper, you can’t just leave in the middle of a fight!” Larry followed her.

“I’m gonna go get some fresh air.”

“At one in the morning?!”

“While I’m out, try think about what you’re asking me, Larry. I admit it. I fucked up. I fucked up big time. And I’m really sorry and I wish I could take it back but I can’t. But you need to realize what you want me to do is ridiculous.”

“Are you kidding me?” he exploded again. “Just because I want you to stop seeing your ex – who you obviously still have feelings for – I’m suddenly the bad guy in this one?!”

Piper didn’t have the strength to come up with a sensible answer. She felt like if she tried to say anything else, she would start screaming at him, so she just walked out on him, slamming the door shut behind her.

 

Piper thought the cold air might calm her down a bit but it didn’t help at all. If anything, Piper felt even angrier towards Larry. Yes, she made a terrible mistake but there was no excuse for Larry’s reaction. He forbade her seeing Alex? Who did he think he was?!

Piper wanted to punch something. She walked to the nearest street lamp and raised her hand, but she changed her mind last second. No. Giant bruise and hellish physical pain wasn’t what she needed.

Piper, breathing heavily looked around and saw a free cab passing by. She didn’t stop to think and using her momentum from the anger, she hailed the cab, got in and gave the driver the address.

 

* * *

 

 

It was two in the morning when Alex managed to kick out the last three people out of her apartment. She didn’t feel like partying anymore. Clara, understanding of Alex’s situation, decided to move Malia’s party - who by the way got totally high before her plane even landed; it was a miracle she got through customs, really - to a night club down the street, but some people refused to accept the change and it took Alex more than twenty minutes to get everyone out. Clara told her to stop by at the club if she changed her mind but Alex only shook her head at that. She needed to be alone.

She still couldn’t believe Piper had lied to her. Alex really thought she’d be honest. It didn’t mean that Piper would have to immediately get back together with Alex. Alex herself wasn’t even sure if she wanted that. It just meant that Piper wouldn’t have to be stuck in a relationship with someone she wasn’t happy with anymore. But of course, Piper would rather do that than be alone for two seconds. Being alone was probably Piper’s biggest fear and until now, Alex believed that she could overcome it. She knew Piper could be brave.

Not this time apparently.

There was a knock on the door only a minute after the last guy left the apartment. Alex went to the door and opened it, ready to yell at whoever it was.

“I said the party was o-“ Alex stopped mid-sentence when she found Piper standing behind the door. She was breathing heavily, her hands clutching her purse shaking. She stared at Alex as if she just saw her for the first time. It freaked Alex out a bit.

“Pipes. What are you doing here?” Alex frowned a little but she didn’t get an answer.

Piper hesitated for a split second, looking into Alex’s eyes, and just then Alex understood why she was there. Her expression softened, just as Piper threw her purse on the floor and grabbed Alex’s cheeks, hungrily kissing her. Alex returned those kisses without giving it any second thoughts and she practically dragged Piper inside the apartment, shutting the door and pressing Piper against it. Piper’s hands were already working on discarding Alex’s clothes and Alex didn’t stay behind, helping Piper out of her jacket and unzipping her dress expertly. Piper pulled away for a second, pulling Alex’s t-shirt over her head but then her lips quickly found Alex’s again as if her whole life depended on it.

Alex led the way to her bedroom, walking backwards and somehow managing not to trip over something. They left pieces of clothing behind lying on the floor everywhere. Alex’s back hit the bedroom door and she kicked them open, while gladly helping Piper take off her dress. Alex finally felt the bed behind her and she slowly lied down on her back pulling Piper down with her.

Piper didn’t let her take charge for a single moment. She kissed Alex on her jawline, her neck, and then continued to her chest, stomach, leaving kisses as a trail.

As Piper paused at Alex’s underbelly, her hand sliding between Alex’s thighs, Alex suddenly couldn’t contain a small smirk, remembering her thoughts from earlier.

_Looks like Piper really could be brave after all._

And in that moment, Alex was more than glad that she was not wrong about Piper.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I managed another quick update today and if things go well and according to plan, the next one will be up tomorrow.  
> Enjoy and thanks for reading!

Alex was woken up by Piper who moved her hand from under Alex’s head. The autumn sun was already shining in through the wide window. Alex glanced at the clock on the wall but without her glasses couldn’t quite tell the time. She turned automatically to her night table to get the glasses but they weren’t there. Alex groaned a little because that meant the glasses were probably lying somewhere on the floor, broken. Piper noticed she woke her up and smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she said quietly.

“You know, you leave a one night stand _before_ the crack of dawn and _without_ waking the other person up. You’re such an amateur,” Alex rolled her eyes turning to her side facing Piper and supporting her head with her hand. Piper imitated her, lying the same way, and looked into her eyes before she smiled, biting on her lower lip.

“First of all, I wasn’t trying to leave. My arm was dying, because your dumbass heavy head cut off my blood circulation,” Piper said, sliding her leg lazily over Alex’s under the sheets. “And second, who says this was a one night stand?”

“Alright,” Alex said, already hating herself to be the one asking the following question. “What was it then?”

“Well,” Piper hesitated. “I don’t know. Okay? I just _don’t_ know. And I don’t care. I should feel guilty, right? I should be angry at myself, run out of here and never come back. But I don’t want to.”

“That’s because the bed is so warm. You’ve always been terrible at getting up,” Alex pointed out all smug and confident on the outside, but surprised by Piper’s answer on the inside.

“Yeah, that, too,” Piper grinned. “Look, I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what all of this means. All I know is that it’s not over yet.”

Alex didn’t recognize Piper. Who drugged her? This was _Piper_. _The_ Piper who had her entire life planned for her since the day she was born. _The_ Piper who carefully planned every second of her life, trying to make her family and friends happy and proud. And now she was this living-in-the-moment Piper?

It was hard to complain, though, especially with Piper’s naked body pressed against hers, Piper’s leg practically hugging her. Maybe Piper was right. She had changed.

Piper leaned in for a kiss and Alex stroke her cheek gently as their lips locked. Then Piper pulled away, chuckling.

“And I have a morning breath, so this isn’t a good idea,” she said but Alex pulled her back into another kiss.

“I don’t care. I’m used to it,” she said and was awarded with a soft push from Piper.

“Asshole,” she shook her head, laughing.

 

They spent the entire morning in bed, both of them too afraid to leave the bubble of ignoring the rest of the world. However, they couldn’t stay in bed for the rest of the day, as they had other needs as well.

“I’m hungry,” Piper complained. They were lying face-to-face, pressed against each other again. Their fingers were tangled together under the sheets, just like their legs.

“Don’t,” she added immediately, seeing Alex’s dirty comeback ready to fire. “I’m serious. Isn’t it customary to make your lady a breakfast in bed when she stays overnight for the first time?”

“Well, this is hardly the _first_ time…”

“Pretty please?” Piper smiled, kissing Alex on her jaw until she finally gave in.

“Okay, fine,” she breathed out. “But I don’t know where my glasses are, so if I make you scrambled potatoes instead of eggs, it’s your problem.”

“You can’t tell the difference between a potato and an egg without your glasses? Wow, that’s just… sad,” Piper teased her.

“You know what I mean,” Alex rolled her eyes. “Besides, I don’t really cook that much, so who knows.”

“Well, I’ll eat anything really. Don’t!” Piper had to stop her again, as Alex’s brows shot up.

“Fine,” Alex sighed with a soft smile, kissing Piper briefly before fumbling with the sheets they were both entangled in and getting up.

Alex picked a pair of shorts and a t-shirt she usually slept in from her closet, put them on and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Even without her glasses she noticed the mess from last night. It wasn’t just their clothes on the floor, but also empty cups and bottles lying all over the place from the party. Alex completely forgot she even had a party last night.

She let the mess be and headed to the fridge, trying to find some eggs. She heard the flush of a toilet and for a second, Alex froze. What if Piper just wanted to sneak out and leave, while Alex was in the kitchen? Or what if everything changed once they left the oblivious bubble of Alex’s bedroom? What if Piper started acting like Piper again, freaking out about making a huge mistake and running back to her fiancé?

_Oh, god, she was engaged._

Alex felt the sting of jealousy as she thought about him and Piper. Piper obviously wasn’t happy in the relationship or else she wouldn’t have ended in Alex’s bed last night. But not knowing what all this meant for Piper made Alex nervous. Alex herself wasn’t sure about her feelings for Piper but last night kind of cleared that for her. She just hoped it did the same of Piper. However, her not leaving, doing the stuff they did most of the night _and_ most of the morning, felt like a good sign to Alex.

She waited for a minute but when she didn’t see Piper come out of the bedroom, she calmed down, laughing at herself for being this stupidly clingy and paranoid, and she started making the breakfast. Halfway through the process of making the scrambled eggs – which was way harder without proper vision, as it turned out – Alex felt Piper’s hands wrap around her from behind. She kissed her on the shoulder and then rested her chin on it.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome,” Alex said and slowly turned around to face her. She noticed Piper was wearing on oversized band t-shirt of hers.

“I stole that from your closet,” Piper said, resting her hands on Alex’s hips. “I hope that’s okay.”

“Well, I liked you better without it but what can I do,” Alex mumbled and her lips found Piper’s once again. She smiled into the kiss and Piper did, too.

So their bubble expanded from Alex’s bedroom to her whole apartment.

 

It was late afternoon when Piper decided to check back in with reality. They were cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie. Alex had found her glasses – surprisingly unharmed – at the foot of her bed. She had no idea how they got there but at least they weren’t broken. After cleaning up the mess from last night a bit, they had nothing better to do than just turn on the TV. Piper didn’t feel like going home – probably because she knew she would start feeling guilty the second she saw her fiancé – and Alex didn’t complain.

Piper got up from the couch, stretching on her way to get her purse. She took out her phone and returned to the couch staring at it.

“I’ve got like twenty missed calls,” Piper sighed and Alex turned her head to her, muting the TV.

“What happened last night?” Alex asked and Piper looked at her.

“I… I told you, I don’t know…”

“No, I mean – what happened that you came back? What changed?”

Piper averted her eyes, the screen of her phone going dark unnoticed. She took her time before answering.

“I had a fight with Larry. I… told him about the kiss and he accused me of sleeping with you. Then he said he wanted me to stop seeing you.”

“So you ran to me and slept with me to prove a point?” Alex asked jokingly but regretted saying that after seeing Piper’s expression. She looked like she was about to cry, so Alex moved closer to her on the couch, taking her hand and stroking her cheek comfortingly.

“I’m a terrible person,” Piper managed to mumble before she started sobbing. Alex shook her head, putting a strand of Piper’s hair behind her ear.

“Hey, come on, look at me,” she said and Piper did. “You’re not a terrible person. You’re human. And yeah, cheating on someone is a bad thing but he’s a jerk for telling you who you can or can’t see. That’s fucked up, no matter what the circumstances are.”

“I lied to you.”

“What?” Alex frowned in confusion.

“I lied when you asked me if I was happy with Larry. I’m not. I mean… I don’t think I am anymore.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“I know you, Piper,” Alex smiled and rested her hand on Piper’s neck, stroking her jawline with her thumb. “You can fool your fiancé, your friends and family. But you can’t fool me. _I_ know you.”

“Well, that makes you the only one. I don’t think I know myself anymore either.”

“You just have to be honest with yourself. And stop thinking about what everyone else will say. Just be honest for once. Ask yourself what you want, what makes you happy and just do it, don’t listen to anyone giving you crap about it,” Alex said and Piper slowly nodded, whispering a thank you before leaning in to kiss Alex lightly on the lips. Then she let her head fall onto her shoulder and Alex hugged her with one arm.

After a long silent pause, Piper added quietly: “You know, I was – I _am_ happy today.”

Alex stared at her for a while before smiling and answering. “Yeah. Me too.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, things didn't go according to plan but I managed to finish this chapter anyway. I'd like to really thank you all who took the time to comment or leave kudos, that's what keeps me going, even though it's 4:30am right now and I haven't slept in like 30 hours, I just needed to finish this one!  
> (Also formally apologising for the possible stupid mistakes - like my usual writing "head" instead of "had" etc - I mean I have proofread the chapter three times but seriously, 4:30am. Sleep deprived. English not my first language. You see my point.)  
> So anyway, enjoy and thanks for reading!

When Piper finally found the courage to leave Alex’s apartment and go home to face Larry, she had absolutely no idea what to do. She knew she was screwed. She couldn’t keep denying she had feelings for Alex and she guessed Alex felt the same way. (The fact that she didn’t kick Piper out of her apartment last night or all day today was a big hint.)

Piper had briefly thought about leaving when Alex fell asleep. She knew she should feel guilty because she cheated on her fiancé but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She couldn’t feel anything but the bliss of being close to Alex, being able to kiss her and touch her again. In fact, the whole day felt like it was just another normal day taken from eight years ago. It was like no time had passed. Piper and Alex automatically switched into couple mode without really having to try or even realizing it. That’s why Piper couldn’t feel bad, even though she knew she had done a terrible thing to Larry. It was hard to feel bad when Piper woke up with the widest smile since forever and that smile stayed there all day. And deep down Piper knew only Alex could make her feel that way.

But at the same time, Piper was afraid to leave Larry. And she was afraid to get back together with Alex as well. She couldn’t live the same dangerous life as she did when she was twenty three. But so far, Alex’s job was the only excuse she could find at the moment to not be with her. And she could name about a half a dozen of reasons why she should break up with Larry, number one being the fact that she cheated on him with her ex-girlfriend, for whom she had feelings again apparently.

So Piper didn’t go home, didn’t run away and she just played along, as their instincts took over, ignoring the obvious elephant in the room. Piper didn’t even remotely want to leave Alex’s apartment. It felt like they were safe there, it could just be the two of them, not giving a damn about the rest of the world and avoiding facing the obvious.

But she also couldn’t stay forever. She left Alex’s place kissing Alex goodbye at the elevator in the hall in front of her apartment. They didn’t discuss their current situation, they didn’t actually say much as Piper was leaving. Alex didn’t push Piper to decide right there on the spot, tell her what all of this meant, and Piper really appreciated it. She needed time and Alex gave it to her.

Did that mean they were having an affair now? Piper didn’t want this to be a onetime thing, if she was being honest – and she made that clear to Alex more than once –, but she also didn’t want it to happen again, as it was unfair to Larry.

So the only logical thing to do would be to break up with him and run away with Alex again. But Piper was too scared. Plus she still loved Larry as well, no matter how bad it looked for the two of them at that moment. She didn’t want to hurt him like that.

In the cab on her way home, Piper noticed she had a couple of missed calls from Polly. She decided to call her. Polly picked up almost right away.

“I’m so, so sorry!” she said right after answering the phone.

“What for?” Piper asked, confused.

“Last night. When Larry called me to ask if you were with me, I told him you weren’t. I tried to save it, saying you were probably on your way but he didn’t believe me.”

“Oh. It’s okay, Pol,” Piper said. “It’s my fault. I lied to him for no reason.”

“So you were with Alex?”

“Yeah, she invited me to a party.”

“Oh, Piper,” Polly sighed. “Why didn’t you just tell him? Now he must think you’re cheating on him with her!”

“He does,” Piper confirmed and took a deep breath before adding: “And I am.”

“What?”

“I’m cheating on him,” Piper breathed out.

“WHAT?!” Polly repeated, screaming. Not because she was angry. She sounded more shocked than anything.

“I mean I wasn’t till last night. I came back home from the party and we had a huge fight. So I left and went back to Alex’s. I don’t know what got into me but it was like I... like she was all I needed, all I was missing.”

“Piper…”

“I know. You told me so. You told me old feelings would crawl back and you were right. I couldn’t even leave her place all day. We just hung out and it was… just like we travelled back in time or something. It felt so normal. I didn’t even _want_ to leave.”

“So what are you saying, Piper? Are you going to leave Larry?” Polly asked.

“I don’t know.”

“That seems to be your answer for everything lately,” Polly sighed and Piper laughed.

“Yeah, I _know_.

“Fuck, Piper,” Polly cursed. “Where are you right now?”

“In a cab on my way home.”

“Are you going to tell Larry?”

“I should, shouldn’t I?” Piper asked with resignment in her voice.

“I don’t know. You know I’ve always sucked at these things, I never knew if I should be honest or not.”

“I’ve never done these things.”

“Okay, we get it, you’re a better person than me,” Polly said jokingly but then added more seriously: “It doesn’t sound like you’re regretting it. It wasn’t a onetime thing, was it? It wasn’t like one of those pre-marriage get-it-out-of-your-system one night stands?”

“No,” Piper breathed out. “Wait, did _you_ have one of those?”

“Now, hush. We’re focusing on you, sweetie.”

Piper chuckled briefly before she remembered her situation again. “God, Polly, what do I do?”

Polly remained silent for a second or two. “Tell you what… let me ask you couple of things.”

“Okay?”

“Do you have feelings for her?”

“I mean… Yeah,” Piper said, hearing the familiar sigh Polly would always make anytime she talked about Alex.

“Do you want to, uh, _see_ her again?”

“… Yeah.”

“Do you still love Larry?”

“I do.”

“Well,” Polly exhaled. “Then I’m afraid you have to tell him. Pipe, you know I’m the last one to judge here, but it’s not fair to him. He’s a good guy.”

“God,” Piper groaned. “I hate it when you’re right.”

 

* * *

 

 

Piper got home just before eight. She found Larry on the couch in the living room, typing something on his laptop. When he heard Piper come in, he threw the laptop aside, jumping up to his feet.

“Hey,” Piper breathed out, setting her purse on the couch.

“Hey,” Larry said, looking about as uncomfortable as Piper. They stared at each other, both of them quiet, for a while but then Larry broke the silence.

“Listen, I’m sorry,” he said, walking to Piper. “You were absolutely right. I can’t tell you who you can or cannot see. That’s not... I was just…”

“It’s okay,” Piper stopped him.

“No, it’s not. I was being a total dick.”

“Larry,” Piper said weakly, averting her eyes and shaking her head. “Stop.”

“I guess the whole Alex thing caught me by surprise, you know? And then you said you kissed her and I just flipped out, I didn’t even listen to you. If you say it meant nothing, then I believe you. Of course I do. And…”

“Larry,” Piper repeated his name more loudly, so he finally paused, looking at Piper expectantly.

“What?”

“I was with Alex last night. And today.”

“Oh,” he said, looking as if he had known. “I mean I guessed you didn’t go to Polly’s…”

“No, Larry,” Piper interrupted him again, feeling a giant lump forming in her throat. “I was _with_ her.”

“Oh. _Oh_ ,” was all he managed to say. Piper couldn’t bear to look at him, and apparently, he couldn’t either. He stepped back, his eyes fixed on the couch next to Piper.

Piper felt the tears running down her cheeks. “I was upset after the fight and I didn’t know where else to go… I know it doesn’t make it any less terrible, but I wasn’t lying. I wasn’t sleeping with her. And I didn’t plan on this to happen. I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

“Well, you did,” Larry said, his voice unstable and Piper realized he was about to cry as well.

“I’m sorry,” Piper whispered, looking away.

“Do you love her?” Larry asked, barely able to get those words out. Piper glared on the floor.

_Did she?_

Piper remembered the feeling she had this morning when she woke up, half lying on Alex. For a second there, she caught herself hoping and wishing she could wake up like that every morning. And she smiled. And the she woke Alex up and she smiled even more. And then when she saw Alex making her breakfast. Or when they were cuddled up on Alex’s couch, watching a movie but barely paying attention to it.

This whole day made Piper realize one thing. That day in Paris, the day they broke up, Piper didn’t leave because she stopped loving Alex. She left because she was afraid. And yeah, maybe they had some other minor problems as well, but mostly it was Piper’s fear that led to the whole mess. It took eight years for Piper to forget all that, the happiness, the love, but it took only one day with Alex to remember. She had never stopped loving her.

And as Piper realized that, suddenly she wasn’t afraid anymore. She looked up, her gaze meeting Larry’s.

“Yes.”


	16. Chapter 16

Larry didn’t say anything. He just stared at Piper as if he just saw her for the first time but not in a good way. He looked at her like she just stabbed him right in his heart. For Piper, it felt like she did exactly that.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated quietly, glancing away.

“So,” Larry cleared his throat, visibly trying hard to keep it together. “Where does that leave me?”

Piper looked at him. “I still love you.”

“But do you still want to marry me?”

“I don’t know,” Piper admitted, sounding exhausted. There was no point in lying anymore. All her cards were on the table. If nothing, at least she didn’t have to lie to him, to Alex _and_ to herself anymore.

“Do you?” she added and Larry shook his head, shrugging desperately.

“I don’t know,” he said, rubbing his eyes and then running his fingers through his hair. “I just… don’t know if we can get through this.”

His voice broke at the end of the sentence. Piper exhaled, looking down. Did she even _want_ to fix this?

“I think we need some time apart. Take a break. Figure things out,” Piper said after a long, heartbreaking pause.

“I think you’re right,” he nodded, whispering. Then he brushed past Piper and disappeared into the bedroom.

Piper sat down on the couch, hiding her face in her palms. As long as she was not with Larry, she could imagine breaking up with him but as soon as she looked at him, she couldn’t even think about it.

Everything used to be easy with him. Simple. She loved him. He loved her. There were no secrets – well, with the exception of Piper’s life with Alex -, there were no complications, no obstacles. Her family approved of him, her friends approved of him. There was the white picket fence future with their kids running around, being raised in that privileged WASPy house, just like Piper and Larry both had been. There was no danger, it was a safe, comfortable life Piper had always wanted – or thought she had.

But then – there was no danger. No adventures. No surprises. And most importantly, there was no Alex.

“I’m going to my parents’ house for a couple of days,” Larry said, coming out of the bedroom with a bag on his shoulder. He walked by Piper, reaching for his laptop that was lying on the couch next to her.

“Okay,” Piper mumbled through her fingers, not even looking up at him.

Larry didn’t add anything else, he didn’t stop to look at Piper. He just grabbed his things and then he was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

Piper’s phone was ringing but she didn’t even bother to look at it. It was Alex, calling her again for probably the hundredth time that day. It was late Tuesday afternoon and Piper was still in bed, hiding under the sheets from the rest of the world. She had spent most of the day staring at the ceiling or at her engagement ring she had put on the nightstand next to the bed.

It had been two days since Larry left the apartment and Piper hadn’t heard from him, and neither had Polly and Pete.

On Monday, Piper had to get up from her bed, stop crying and stress eating for three hours, and go to the Barney’s meeting with Polly. It all went surprisingly well, except for when Polly accidentally mentioned that they had no warehouse yet. Piper saved it, by making up an “almost-done” deal with a warehouse she hadn’t even called yet. The Barney’s people agreed to offer them a deal as soon as they showed them the warehouse was ready, so Polly and Piper celebrated it with a lunch after the meeting.

However, instead of a celebration, they discussed Piper’s current situation. Piper told Polly everything since the party, including the fight she had with Larry. Polly couldn’t believe Larry would forbid Piper seeing Alex. Even for her – someone, who hated Alex more than anyone and begged Piper numerous times to break up with her – it was a jerk move. Not that what Piper did afterwards would be considered any better.

“That’s fucked,” Polly sighed when Piper was done with her story.

“Yeah, and he said he didn’t know if we could get through this and all I was thinking was – do I even want us to get through it?”

“And what about Supercu-- Alex,” Polly corrected herself when she saw Piper was not in the mood to argue about that. “Did you talk to her about you two?”

“Not really,” Piper admitted. “It was just… us. Nothing else.”

“She didn’t try to win you over or anything?” Polly raised her brow, sipping her soda.

“No, I mean she asked what it all meant at first but she didn’t push it. I think she wants me to decide on my own.”

“How _nice_ of her,” Polly rolled her eyes, then immediately apologized. “Sorry. Can’t help it.”

 

The phone on the nightstand eventually stopped ringing and Piper reached out for it. Of course it was Alex. Piper switched the phone off and put it back on the nightstand. She didn’t know why she was avoiding her. Probably because she had no answers for her. Or for Larry.

After about five minutes, the doorbell started ringing. Piper groaned, burying her head under the pillow but she still heard it. She heard someone knocking as well.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she mumbled as she got up, quickly changing into a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt, and went to open the door.

_Of fucking course._

It was Alex.

“What are you doing here?” Piper asked neutrally.

“You wouldn’t pick up the phone,” she said, inviting herself in – as was her great habit – and Piper sighed, closing the door.

“Larry’s not here,” Piper said matter-of-factly. “I told him. Now we’re on a break, apparently.”

“That’s why you didn’t want to talk to me?”

“I didn’t know what to say.”

Alex nodded, exhaling slowly. Her eyes were running all over the place, as if she couldn’t hold Piper’s gaze for longer than a few seconds. She adjusted her glasses on her nose and then put her hands in the pockets of her black leather jacket.

“So you’re regretting it.”

“I’ve never said that,” Piper breathed out. Of course she didn’t regret getting together with Alex. How could she? The only thing she regretted was the timing and hurting Larry in the process.

Alex, the wittiest person Piper knew, seemed like she hadn’t expected that answer and she was speechless.

“I don’t know if you should be here right now,” Piper said after a moment of silence.

“Well, I am,” Alex shrugged stubbornly.

“Why?”

Alex blinked and straightened up, taking her time to respond. Piper saw the tiny smile in the corner of Alex’s mouth she desperately tried to hide.

“I love you,” she said simply, looking into Piper’s eyes. She had said it a million times before in different situations, different tones but this time it felt somehow deeper and more honest than ever.

“Look, I know this is fucked up,” Alex added after a few seconds. “We didn’t work out the first time around and ended things the worst way possible. And maybe I still blame you for everything that went wrong after that. I did some bad things, some really fucked up things. But somehow, I managed to get up and get my life back again but it wasn’t the same without you. And I know you’re finally with a guy who you were raised to be with. He’s probably a nice guy with a nice job. He’s safe and comfortable. You can go nest, have kids and some stupid house in the suburbs. But even you said you were missing something. And maybe I’m clinging onto our past too much but the Piper I know… She wasn’t born to have this boring life.

“Listen, I’m not asking or telling you to pick me, I can’t do that for you. I’m just saying… Don’t get comfortable and unhappy because you’re too afraid of the alternative.”

Piper watched her as she said all those things and she realized she was telling the truth. Alex knew her better than Piper knew herself. Larry was exactly that for Piper and even though she was certain she loved him as well, the only thing keeping her from breaking up with him was the safety. The fact that he was this reliable, predictable guy, however nice, with a certain future. And Alex was like the polar opposite of that.

Piper suddenly remembered a conversation she had with Polly on her wedding day. Polly tried to convince Piper that the chemistry wasn’t everything. She said that Piper needed to find the calm and peaceful and Piper did find that with Larry. But the chemistry just wasn’t as strong. With Alex, however, Piper got both. She got the warm but she also got the fireworks.

When Piper didn’t say anything, Alex turned on her heel and went back to the door. That woke Piper up. She didn’t want her there at first but she also didn’t want her to leave now that she was already there. And she couldn’t just let her go without telling her how she felt. She had admitted it to both Polly and Larry. It was only fair Alex knew, too.

“Alex, wait!” she said and Alex turned around to look at Piper, who went over to her, grabbed her cheeks and leaned in for a kiss.

“I love you, too,” she whispered when she pulled back. Alex smiled and kissed her again. Then Piper rested her forehead against hers, feeling Alex’s hand stroking her cheek. She put her own hand over hers, closing her eyes.

“I love you,” Piper repeated. “I always have. But that’s never been the problem, Al. I don’t know if this is a good idea, if we should…”

“Tell me one good reason we shouldn’t,” Alex interrupted her.

“You said it yourself, it didn’t work out the first time. Why should it work out now?”

Alex leaned back to look at Piper. “Is this about my job?”

“You know I can’t… It’s too much for me,” Piper mumbled. “I’m not twenty three anymore, I can’t keep pretending it’s not a big deal.”

“I love you, Piper, I really do. But you know I’m not going to quit. I love that job, too. It’s a part of me. And if you’re going to be with me, you need to accept that. But I can promise you,” Alex added, running her thumb across Piper’s cheekbone gently. “I can promise you that this time you won’t be a part of it. You don’t have to do anything. I mean it. I’d never ask you to do anything for them again, okay? You don’t even have to see those people, you won’t even know they exist. I promise you that.”

Alex glared at Piper, waiting for her to answer but when she didn’t, she continued. “I get that you’re scared. I am too. But sometimes, you just have to suck it up and try it. You might get hurt in the process. But you might also win in the end. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us. That’s the great thing about it. All I know is that I love you and I don’t care what happens as long as you’re there with me.”

Then, Alex kissed her again. Slowly, as if making her point, her final statement. Her hands cupped Piper’s cheeks, pulling her closer. Piper didn’t protest, she gave in, wrapping her arms around Alex, kissing her back.

When they pulled apart, Piper looked into her eyes again and smiled. “You sound really cheesy sometimes, you know that?”

Alex’s face lit up. “Is that a yes?” she ran her fingers through Piper’s hair, grinning.

“Yes,” Piper whispered against Alex’s lips.

With that, she did it. She chose Alex. Piper felt the relief of finally making a decision. Even though she _was_ scared, it felt good. She was nervous about the whole thing, them trying to work it out again, but it was _good_ nervous. Excited even. The only thing that felt bad about the decision was the thought of telling Larry. And her parents. And everyone else. But at that moment, Piper couldn’t even care less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, note at the end. Didn't expect that from me, did you?  
> Anyway, I just wanted to kindly point out that the story's not over yet, although it's definitely coming to an end, as you've probably guessed. An end that I've had in mind since I started writing this fic in August and I really can't wait to write it. (Fun fact: approximately the first 15-20k was written in August. The rest as I updated it.)   
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, feel free to leave comments (seriously, like, please do) and, as usual, thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

Alex stayed at Piper’s that night. They didn’t really do anything, they just hung out. Alex didn’t want to leave Piper alone, because she still seemed vulnerable, and Piper didn’t protest. Alex decided to make her dinner but was disgusted by the contents of her fridge. If it wasn’t vegan, it had to be at least organic. After hearing Alex’s complaints, Piper rolled her eyes and found a pizza in the freezer.

“Well, thanks for making the dinner,” Piper said and shot Alex a smug look, as she put the pizza in the oven, turning it on.

“Yeah, because unfreezing a pizza is such a difficult job,” Alex nodded mockingly. “It’s not my fault rabbits do groceries around here.”

“It’s healthy,” Piper replied defensively, just as someone rang the doorbell. Both women exchanged looks and then Piper went to open the door.

“Oh, good, you’re alive!” a familiar voice said and Alex walked out of the kitchen and leaned on the doorframe in the hall. Polly was there just taking her jacket off with Piper helplessly staring at her. Polly was pregnant and had a different haircut but other than that, she hadn’t changed a bit since the last time Alex saw her – well, the second to last time, if she was counting the unfortunate encounter at Piper’s birthday party.

“I was starting to worry. Pete said Larry’s a- what the fuck?!” she exclaimed as soon as she looked up and noticed Alex standing behind Piper. Alex grinned innocently, as Piper turned around, her eyes jumping from one woman to the other.

“Uhm, Pol, I have some news,” Piper said nervously and Polly slowly turned her head from Alex to her, her eyes wide.

“You don’t say.”

“Come on, let’s go sit down and talk,” Piper sighed.

“I gotta go to the bathroom first,” Polly said, still a little in shock. “This damn baby keeps dancing on my bladder. Thinks it’s fun.”

“Sure,” Piper nodded and went over to Alex as Polly disappeared into the bathroom.

“I had no idea she was coming here.”

“Well, maybe if you turned your phone on…” Alex pointed out, straightening up and pulling Piper close to her.

“I was hoping I’d tell her alone,” Piper said, glancing around her shoulder.

“Why? Afraid I’ll beat you to it?”

“No, but she will swear. A lot.”

“And you want to spare my feelings?” Alex smiled, playing with a strand of Piper’s hair. “That’s so sweet.”

“No,” Piper shook her head. “I just don’t want you fighting with a pregnant lady.”

“I’ll be nice. I promise,” she smirked again and pulled Piper into a kiss.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Polly cursed as the door from the bathroom shut behind her. Piper stepped back and Alex unwillingly let go of her and looked at Polly, who was now rolling her eyes. “Why does this keep happening to me?”

 

Alex remained quiet for most of the evening, letting Piper do the speaking and Polly the cursing. Piper explained to Polly how things were and Alex saw how much she was trying to be supportive of Piper, instead of smacking her in the face, yelling how bad this idea was. Alex didn’t mind Polly, even though she probably hated Alex, but she had to admit Polly was a great friend to Piper.

Polly had to leave an hour – and three bathroom breaks – later. Piper went with her to the door, Alex stayed a little behind like a well-behaved puppy.

“I can’t believe this really happened,” Polly said and Piper looked back at Alex before returning to Polly and answering.

“Yeah, me neither.”

“This is…” Polly glanced at Alex, then shook her head in disbelief, looking at Piper again. “I’m happy for you. I mean, not really, but as long as you’re happy…”

“Thanks,” Piper nodded and they hugged.

“Wow,” Piper said to Alex, as soon as the door closed behind Polly.

“What?” Alex raised her brows.

“You were actually nice today.”

“I told you I would be.”

“I’m just glad you kept that promise,” she smiled, embracing her.

 

It felt wrong using Piper’s bed where she used to sleep with her fiancé, so they used the pull out couch for the night. Piper offered Alex some clothes to change into but Alex refused, lying on the couch in her own clothes, saying she’s used to it anyway. Piper followed her example and crawled under the blanket next to her.

They were lying there in the dark for a few minutes, Alex absently playing with Piper’s hand, when Piper broke the silence.

“Hey, Al?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I’m a bad person?”

Alex stopped and turned to her side to look at Piper. She couldn’t see her properly in the darkness and without her glasses but she recognized she was looking back at her, worries in her eyes.

“No,” she answered, stroking her cheek. Piper took her hand and kissed it.

“But I’m not a good person either,” she added after a while.

“No one really is,” Alex said quietly.

“But I’ve cheated on Larry. I _am_ cheating on him right now. While he’s trying to decide if he should forgive me. And I’m already decided I’ll break his heart tomorrow.”

“Come on, Pipes,” Alex said, moving closer to her and putting strands of Piper’s hair from her face behind her ear. “Sometimes you can’t control these things. You can’t be stuck with him forever just because you’re too afraid to hurt him.”

 

They woke up early the next morning. Alex somehow ended up being the big spoon and she helped Piper wake up by kissing her on the neck until she turned on her back and kissed her on the lips.

“Morning,” she smiled when they pulled apart. It was a genuine smile, indicating all of Piper’s worries had been forgotten at least for that moment.

“Hey,” Alex smiled back, kissing her again briefly.

“Pipes?” she asked after a few seconds, looking into her eyes.

“Uh-huh?”

“Tell me, isn’t it customary to make your lady a breakfast in bed when she stays overnight for the first time?”

“You’re such an ass,” Piper rolled her eyes but she laughed.

“I’ve been told,” Alex smiled into another kiss.

Piper eventually got up and decided to get breakfast from the nearest coffee shop on the corner in order to avoid Alex’s rants against organic food. Alex offered to go with her but Piper told her to shut up and stay in bed, since she had already asked for breakfast in bed. Less than two minutes after Piper went out, Alex heard the door open. Alex grabbed her glasses from the coffee table next to the couch and went to the door, thinking Piper had forgotten something, but instead she found her fiancé standing in the door, staring at her in shock.

“What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” he asked after he recovered from the initial surprise of seeing his fiancé's not-so-ex-girlfriend in his home.

Alex swallowed the obvious answer there and, mainly for Piper’s sake, tried not being a dick. “I’m visiting.”

“Of course you are. Piper?” he yelled into the hall.

“Sorry, big guy, you just missed her, she went to the coffee shop,” Alex said. “But she’ll be right back and I’m going.”

“Not so fast,” he stopped her as she tried to reach for her jacket on the coat hook behind him. “Listen, I don’t know what your game is with Piper. I don’t know what you’ve been telling her to mess with her head but ever since you came back into her life, she’s been a completely different person. So you need to stay the fuck away from her.”

Alex suppressed her smirk. “Is that right?”

“You need to understand that you two are _over_. We’re getting married and I’m not gonna let you fuck that up. You may have manipulated her back into your bed but…”

“I manipulated her?” Alex laughed. “That’s funny because I wasn’t the one who came running to my apartment at two in the morning. She came to _me_. She fucked _me_. You think I am this big evil ex who’s trying to steal her from you but you’re forgetting she has feelings, too. She’s a grown up and she can make her own decisions. I’m not your problem. You are.”

The guy was left speechless, so Alex brushed past him leaving the jacket behind. She decided to go to the coffee shop to warn Piper, just as Piper appeared from behind the corner. Alex nearly ran into her.

“Alex? What are you doing? I told you to wait,” Piper said when she saw her.

“We’ve got a problem, Piper,” Alex said. “Your fiancé just got home.”

“What? Oh, god. Did he see you?” Piper looked like she might drop the two cups she was holding along with the paper bag, so Alex took the things from her and set it on the bench next to them.

“We had a chat, yeah.”

“What…”

“Don’t even ask.”

“Oh, god,” Piper repeated, running her now free hand through her hair and exhaling deeply.

“It’s going to be fine,” Alex hugged her and Piper hid her face in her shoulder.

“I hate to hurt him like this. He’s a good guy,” she sobbed quietly.

“I know, Pipes, I know,” Alex mumbled into her ear, stroking her hair, even though she did _not_ know. From their brief encounters, he didn’t seem like the nicest guy in the universe. Although admittedly, it was understandable, given the circumstances.

“I should go talk to him,” Piper whispered after a while, pulling away.

“It’s going to be okay,” Alex said again and Piper nodded.

“I’ll call you… later,” she said and headed off.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact of the day: The first half of this chapter was written on a bus stop in 0°C, and even though it was like four hours ago, I still can't feel my frozen fingers. Well, to quote Alison Hendrix: I'm not in contol of the muse.

Piper returned to the apartment with her heart in her throat. She wasn’t doubting her decision but that didn’t mean she was particularly happy about it at that moment. As soon as he heard the door click behind her, Larry appeared in the hall from the living room.

“Hey,” Piper said awkwardly, barely able to speak.

“Guess who I just met here,” Larry didn’t bother with such formality as a simple hi.

“Larry…”

“What was she doing here sleeping on my couch?” he asked, not really letting her answer. “You invite _her_ to our apartment three hot seconds after you sleep with her? Are you kidding me?!”

“I didn’t invite her, she dropped by to check in on me,” Piper defended herself weakly.

“Oh, how nice of her. She’s a real Samaritan this one,” Larry hissed. “Did you sleep with her again?”

“No,” Piper shook her head and for a second, a brief sign of relief appeared on Larry’s face. It didn’t last long as Piper shattered it with her following words. “But I want to be with her.”

Larry stepped away and turned his back to Piper. For a moment, Piper thought he was crying, but then he started laughing. It wasn’t a happy laugh. It was more like a desperate shriek of a man who just realized his naivety. Then he turned around and the look he gave Piper nearly killed her.

“So that’s it then?”

“I’m sorry,” Piper said quietly.

“I came here today to say that I forgive you. That we can get through this,” he chuckled again, but this time tears ran down his cheeks as well. “Imagine my surprise,” he added in a voice that sounded more like a sob than anything.

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” Piper felt the tears coming as well. “I still love you, too.”

“But you love her more, is that it?” he said and when Piper didn’t respond, he continued. “Just tell me, what is it about her? We’ve been together for, what? Two years? And you’ve never mentioned her. Not once. But the second you saw her again… What did she do to you to change your mind and heart?”

“She didn’t do anything, Larry. I’ve always loved her. It’s always been her.”

“Well, I seem to remember differently when you said yes to me,” Larry said and looked at her hand where the engagement ring should have been. But Piper didn’t put it back on since she took it off couple days ago.

“It’s on the nightstand,” she told Larry and for him, it seemed to be the last strike.

“You really think this is going to last with her?” he exploded. “How long do you think it will take before you go deleting her from your entire life again?”

Piper stared at him, unable to answer. It was like Larry was saying all of her worries out loud. Piper wasn’t sure if she and Alex were going to work this time. Especially since she stood firmly on not quitting her job. And she was scared it was going to end badly again – and she was also pretty sure she wouldn’t survive it the second time.

But she was going to risk it anyway. She had to at least give it a shot. Either way, Alex or not, the break up with Larry was necessary. He was just a safety net. He wasn’t the real thing.

But Alex was.

“You said after you broke up you left her alone in Paris on the same day her mother died and you left even after she had asked you to stay,” Larry went on as Piper had nothing to say. “You don’t do that to someone you love.”

Piper looked down, feeling the old guilt once again. “I had no choice, I had to leave…”

“Or what? You would’ve missed your flight?” he asked sarcastically. “No, you know what I think? You were too afraid that if you had stayed, you would never find the guts to leave again.”

Piper swallowed and glared at her shoes blankly. He was right. It was like he had been there that day all those years ago and he saw her exact thoughts. Piper underestimated how well Larry knew her.

“You said you loved her and, well, I guess we’ve already established you weren’t lying about _that_. So that brings up the question – why would you leave someone when their mother dies and they ask you for help? You must’ve had a pretty good reason to break up with her. To leave. I don’t know what it was – I don’t care, not anymore. But for your sake, try to remember it. Do you really think it won’t happen again?”

Maybe it was a long shot for Larry and he was just trying to hurt Piper by blindly shooting around in the dark, trying to find her weak spot. But he knew he hit jackpot with her and Alex’s first break up.

Piper tried not to listen to him. He was saying things he knew nothing about. But at the same time, it was hard not to think about it. Alex would never give up her job. Piper would pretend everything is fine for a couple years maybe. But then, Alex drags her into it or some other shit happens and they end up exactly the same as the last time.

“Yeah, I thought so,” Larry ended his short speech, only a little pleased by the fact Piper didn’t say anything back. For him, it was a sign that he was right and Piper knew it.

“Maybe this break up isn’t just about Alex,” Piper said after a long pause. Larry looked up and their gazes met.

“What?”

“Maybe it’s about me and you not working anymore.”

“Yeah,” he nodded and walked closer to her. “We aren’t working anymore. Since when? Oh, that’s right! Since she came back and ruined our fucking lives.”

“She only helped me realize that I wasn’t happy. Not really.”

“Oh, you weren’t?” Larry shook his head in disbelief. “Just kick me while I’m already down.”

“I didn’t mean it like… It wasn’t because of you.”

“So now you’re actually using ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ on me?” his ironic laugh cut like a knife through Piper’s ears. “Why don’t you just stab me in the heart to finish the job?”

“I’m sor…”

“I don’t want to hear your apologies, Piper,” he cut her off harshly. “It’s my own fault anyway, isn’t it? That’s what you’ve been trying to tell me, right? I should have seen it coming. Maybe if I hadn’t been such a fool and I hadn’t trusted you, we could have been spared of this ridiculous theatre you’ve been playing these past few weeks.”

“I’m not playing…”

“I thought we were happy, Piper,” he nearly whispered. “I know I was. I thought, huh, this girl… She’s a little crazy but she’s perfect. She’s the one. It just shows how much I don’t know you, I guess.”

“You do know me.”

“No,” he said, an unhappy smile on his lips. “I don’t. I thought I did. I didn’t even know you used to date women. I didn’t know you’ve lived with one. And I definitely didn’t know you would ever be able to betray me like this. When you told me about her, that she was your ex, at first I freaked out but then I thought… So what? Piper’s with me now, she loves me. She’s still a good person. Guess I was wrong.”

“You’re right,” Piper nodded slowly. “I’m a fuck up. And you deserve so much better. I didn’t mean to hurt you but I did anyway. That’s what I do. I’m sorry, Larry. I really am.”

“I don’t care,” he said turning away from her.

“Maybe I should just go,” Piper said quietly.

“Maybe you should,” Larry agreed.

“I’m really sorry,” Piper mumbled again, turned around and walked out of the apartment.

She left all of her things there, including her phone, but she couldn’t just go back for it. She only had her wallet in her jacket pocket from when she went for the coffee earlier. She would have to send Polly to pick up her stuff later or something. That’s what people do after a break up, isn’t it? They just get their friends to retrieve their stuff from their boyfriends or girlfriends, so they don’t have to see each other again. Only Polly was pregnant and Piper couldn’t possibly ask her to do it, even though she was sure Polly would want to help. So she would have to come back and face Larry again eventually and that thought made her a little sick.

She thought she would feel relieved after breaking up with him but, if possible, she felt even worse. The guilt was eating her alive. She knew it would get better once she saw Alex again. But Larry put some doubts in her mind. What if she and Alex were going to end up the same way again?

The drive in the cab on her way to Alex’s apartment was almost unbearable. When the taxi finally pulled over in front of Alex’s building, Piper gave the driver the last cash she had and she nearly ran to the elevator. The doorman watched her but didn’t say anything. Perhaps he recognized her from before.

Piper knocked on Alex’s door, hoping that she was already home. Luckily, the door opened almost right away.

“Piper,” she said a little surprised, putting aside the phone she was holding. “That was quick. I thought it’d take all day. You look like he just ran you over with a car on his way out. Or did _you_ run him over?”

“Stop,” Piper whined quietly and reached out for her. Alex obediently refrained from making any further comments and hugged Piper. She held her for a couple of minutes and rubbed her back comfortingly, until Piper finally pulled away.

“So how did it go?”

“It was awful,” Piper shook her head and went into the apartment, Alex closing the door behind her.

“What did he say?” Alex asked carefully as they sat down on the couch, Alex immediately putting her arm around Piper’s shoulders. Piper let her head lean against Alex and took her hand into her own, their fingers tangling together almost automatically.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Piper mumbled and closed her eyes. She really didn’t. Because if she did, she would have to tell Alex about her doubts and then they could end up fighting about her job and the relationship could be over before it even started again. They would have to talk about it eventually but Piper wasn’t willing to risk losing Alex today as well.

“Okay,” Alex said and kissed her hair. “But I’m here whenever you need me.”

“I know,” Piper nodded keeping her eyes shut. “I know.”


	19. Chapter 19

“I talked to Larry,” Polly said, making Piper nearly drop Alex’s phone.

She had stayed at Alex’s apartment – where else would she even go? – and she needed to talk to Polly, tell her what happened. She needed someone else’s approval, not just her own and Alex’s, even if from Polly it would be forced, because of her ever-present hatred towards Alex.

But she still had her phone at home – Larry’s apartment now? – and she didn’t want to burst into Polly’s place unannounced. So Alex lent Piper her phone – luckily, Polly’s number was one of the three numbers she remembered –, so she could talk to her. And while she did, Alex stayed in the living room, leaving Piper her privacy in the bedroom, even though Piper didn’t really need or ask her to leave.

“Oh, god,” Piper muttered and leaned her back on the head of Alex’s bed. “What did he say?”

“Well, he wasn’t happy,” Polly replied. “He’s not taking the whole thing well. But to be honest, I can’t blame him.”

“I know,” Piper sighed, hiding her head in her free hand, rubbing her temples with her thumb and middle finger.

“I didn’t mean I blame you, though,” Polly added quickly. “Yes, it might’ve been a _little_ bit more your fault but it always takes two people to break up.”

“Yeah. Me and Alex,” Piper said sourly.

“I walked right into that one,” Polly admitted. “Come on, Piper, you know what I mean. You just weren’t a fit.”

“We weren’t,” Piper agreed and then grinned. “Wait, does that mean you think Alex and I _are_ a fit?”

“Okay, I’ve never said that,” Polly said defensively. “And I’m pretty sure I spent like ten years – with breaks – telling you the exact opposite.”

“So you think I _am_ making a huge mistake?” Piper’s smile slowly fell. Polly was quiet for a few seconds, thinking about her answer carefully.

“No, Pipe, I’ve never said that either,” she said finally. “I mean I think.”

“I think you mentioned something about me being out of my fucking mind.”

“Okay, well, that doesn’t count. That was just the initial shock after I saw you making out with your ex who, by the way, you said you were totally over.”

“Yeah, well, I say things all the time.”

“I know,” Polly laughed shortly but then her tone got more serious, more honest. “Look, you know I’m not a big fan of hers. She’s a dick. But she makes you happy and that makes me happy. _But_ if she hurts you again, well, she better run.”

“Thanks, Pol,” Piper said, meaning it.

“Anytime.”

“Hey, Polly?”

“Yeah?”

“How much do you think he hates me right now?” Piper asked and Polly sighed.

“Larry doesn’t hate you, sweetie. He’s just hurt.”

“I’ll have to go back to get my things eventually,” Piper said, standing up from the bed and nervously pacing around the room.

“Do you want me to do it?” Polly offered immediately.

“No, thank you, but you’d end up giving birth there and I don’t think he’d appreciate the mess.”

“I still have a month to go,” Polly pointed out, as if the whole baby thing was not a big deal. Apart from the fact she had to pee every five minutes.

“Your due date is in like twenty days, Polly!”

“Meh, potayto-potahto,” Polly muttered. “Or I can get Pete to do it.”

“No, it’s okay, I can do it. It’s not like I killed his mother. We just broke up. That happens. Right?”

“Yeah, you broke up because you cheated on him with your ex-girlfriend.”

“Point taken. I’ll just move out while he’s at work and leave the key there.”

“There you go,” Polly approved cheerfully. “But where _will_ you go?”

“Well, I’ll have to look for an apartment first,” Piper suddenly realized she didn’t really think this through. “I hope Larry doesn’t throw out my stuff till then.”

“He’s hurt, but he’s not really a vindictive type.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Piper nodded as if to reassure herself.

“Besides, he said he was going to his parents’ beach house for the weekend, so you have till then.”

“So he’s gone right now?” Piper asked, sitting back on the bed.

“I think he left today. Or maybe tomorrow? I’m not sure. But he’s definitely gone on Saturday.”

“So now I have to find an apartment in two days?” Piper sighed exhaustedly.

“Yeah, but if I were you, I would call him anyway. Tell him you’re moving your stuff. Imagine he’d return to an almost empty apartment. He’s been through enough surprises these past few weeks,” Polly said, her voice full of worries. Sometimes Piper forgot Larry was originally Polly and Pete’s friend and their neighbor and that they were close, too. Polly must’ve hated the turn of events – her best friend got back together with the person she hated the most, ditching her good friend in the process. Piper admired Polly for barely saying anything about it.

“Of course, you’re right. I’ll call him. Thank you,” she said in all honesty and she didn’t mean just the advice. Polly had been so supportive of her in this whole thing. Piper didn’t know how she could ever repay her.

“Yeah,” Polly mumbled, knowing the full meaning of Piper’s words.

“So how’s the belly growing?” Piper changed the topic, tired of only talking about her problems. And also feeling kind of guilty towards Polly for dragging her into it all the time, especially now that she was pregnant and going through all these big changes in her life.

“Not much, since the last time you saw me like two days ago. But Pete’s been acting weird around me lately.”

“Weird?”

“He’s been awfully nice to me.”

“He’s always nice. He’s Pete.”

“True. God, the baby is messing with my head already…”

 

* * *

 

 

“That was a long call,” Alex pointed out, looking up from her book, when Piper finally walked out of the bedroom, handing Alex her phone back.

“Sorry, I’ll pay you back,” Piper rolled her eyes, sitting beside Alex on the couch.

“Thanks, as you can see I’m in desperate need of money,” Alex joked and immediately regretted saying that. But much to her surprise, Piper didn’t react to the remark negatively. She smiled and lied on the couch, resting her head in Alex’s lap. Alex took her glasses off, putting them with the book on the small table next to the couch, and she looked down on Piper and her hands automatically started playing with her hair. Piper’s smile widened and she closed her eyes.

“We talked about you,” Piper said after a while, opening her eyes and looking at Alex.

“Did you?”

“I expected Polly to yell at me, telling me what a huge mistake I’m doing. How stupid I am. But she didn’t. Even though she probably wanted to.”

“Oh, she most definitely wanted to,” Alex chuckled. “She looked like she was going to kill me back at your place.”

Piper’s smile faded. “I don’t think it’s my place anymore,” she sighed. “I have to go get my stuff. And then go apartment hunting. Oh, god, I hate apartment hunting.”

“Well,” Alex cleared her throat significantly. “You could stay here.”

Piper glared at her, lifting her eyebrows. Alex frowned and glanced away. “I mean… I mean if you want to.”

“We literally _just_ got back together, Al,” Piper said, but her tone was neutral, a little amused maybe. Alex couldn’t say if she was against the idea or not.

“I know, it’s just… We already lived together for like two years, so…”

“That’s true,” Piper admitted. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea. We should take things slow. Ish.”

“We never took things slow,” Alex pointed out with a smirk.

“Also true. And look where it got us.”

“Back to my bed?”

“Idiot,” Piper giggled and sat up a little, just as Alex leaned down to kiss her.

“Well,” Alex said as they pulled apart, stroking Piper’s cheek gently. “You can stay here anytime.”

“I probably will,” Piper grinned and settled back into her previous position and so did Alex, as her fingers ran through Piper’s hair – a movement so familiar that it felt almost natural.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so SO sorry I couldn't update earlier. It was finals week and then I was so tired from all the studying I was out for most of the weekend. I couldn't find the time and energy to finish this chapter. Plus I got the flu, so that's not helping either :D  
> Anyway, the end is coming - oooh, dramatic - and I will definitely try to update asap. Enjoy, thanks for reading and once again, sorry for the delay!

“Damn it!”

Piper woke up, opening her eyes and only slowly adjusting to the bright light coming in through the window. She was lying in Alex’s bed, wearing one of Alex’s tank tops and a pair of shorts – Piper almost felt like a homeless person, Alex even had to run to the drug store on the corner to get her a tooth brush -, and she quickly noticed Alex was no longer next to her. Instead, she was standing in the closet, looking for something.

“Is everything okay?” Piper asked, her voice all husky in the morning. Alex almost jumped up in surprise and turned to her.

“Shit, sorry, did I wake you?”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Piper yawned unwillingly and sat up on the bed. Alex smiled, took her glasses off, and putting them on one of the shelves, she went into the bedroom and stopped at the feet of the bed, kneeling on it and crawling over to Piper, who continued yawning uncontrollably, desperately trying to cover her mouth. Alex stopped inches next to her, chuckling softly. Piper tried to protest by punching her in the shoulder, which only made Alex laugh again.

“You’re really fucking cute in the morning, you know that?”

She leaned in to kiss her and Piper couldn’t but smile into the kiss.

“Speaking of which,” Alex said between kissing Piper on her neck and jawline. “Good… Morning.”

“Morning,” Piper grinned, cupping Alex’s cheek with one hand and pulling her closer for another kiss. Their lips barely touched again when Alex’s phone started buzzing on her nightstand.

“Shit,” Alex cursed against Piper’s lips, kissing her anyway before pulling away and turning around to grab the phone.

“It’s… work,” she mumbled throwing an unsure glance in Piper’s direction.

“So take it,” Piper shrugged briefly, running her fingers through her hair, as if that action made her seem more casual.

“Yeah?” she picked up the phone, sitting on the bed next to Piper, leaning her back on the head of the bed just like her.

Piper watched her with mixed emotions. Of course she still hated Alex’s job. And of course she almost forgot for like two seconds what it was. But then again, everything was going so well between them and everything felt so right this time. So why ruin it over something as stupid as Alex’s career choice? _Again_?

“Fine, I’ll talk to him,” Alex said and hung up, putting the phone back on the nightstand and turning to Piper. “Sorry.”

When Piper didn’t say anything, only smiled and nodded, Alex took it as a good sign. She turned on her side, leaning on her right hand and reaching out for Piper’s face with her left, gently stroking her cheek.

“Now, where were we?” she asked, playing with a strand of Piper’s hair, tangling it around her index finger. Piper smirked and pulled Alex into a kiss.

“You were saying something about good morning,” Piper breathed out and Alex smiled, as Piper pressed her lips against hers again.

“Right,” Alex whispered kissing Piper’s jaw, her hands skillfully assisting Piper with discarding her tank top. Piper threw the top aside and lied down on her back, pulling Alex on top of her. Her hands got lost in Alex’s hair as she kissed her on the neck and collarbone. Alex made her way down to Piper’s underbelly, kissing almost every inch of her body, as if she couldn’t afford to miss a spot. Each kiss and touch sent a bolt of energy through Piper’s entire body. Piper felt Alex’s hands run along her sides and waist and she moaned quietly as Alex’s hand slid under her borrowed shorts.

Piper arched her back in anticipation as she felt Alex’s fingers teasing her. However, they were interrupted once again, this time by the doorbell. Piper’s moan turned into an annoyed groan, as Alex froze looking over her shoulder as if she could see who the disturbing person was and burn them with a single look.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” she mumbled as the person started knocking on the door of Alex’s apartment rather urgently.

“I’m so sorry,” she turned back to Piper, only unwillingly getting off of her. “I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna go kick this person’s ass out of here.”

Alex angrily got up from the bed, marching out of the bedroom and taking her glasses from the shelf on her way. Piper stayed in the bed, covering herself with the sheets. She heard Alex open the door.

“What?!”

“Oh, you asshole!” some woman’s voice yelled but it wasn’t angry. It sounded more relieved than anything. Piper frowned as she looked around the room to get her tank top.

“I get that you’re fucking depressed or whatever but you could just pick up the damn phone!” the woman continued being so loud Piper could easily hear her through the closed door. “I’ve been calling since the party and you never picked up.”

Piper found the top, putting it on as she went to the door pausing a second before deciding to go in. She stood in the doorframe, watching Alex across the room. She was standing at the opened apartment door with a black-haired woman around her age. The woman was wearing business clothes, fancy looking ones. She had a phone in one hand and a Prada purse in the other.

“I was busy,” Alex was just saying.

“You were b-“ the woman stopped as she noticed Piper appearing from the bedroom. “Oh.”

Alex turned around her shoulder, her eyes finding Piper, and then she looked back at the woman with a smug smirk.

“Clara, this is Piper. Piper,” Alex looked at Piper again, turning around, so Piper went over to them. Alex waited till Piper was next to her to introduce them. “This is Clara.”

“Oh,” the woman repeated, her eyes wide. “Oh. Okay, I see. I mean, sorry, nice to meet you, Piper. I’ve heard so much about you. Literally. So. Much.”

Clara gave Alex a look before she reached out to shake Piper’s hand. Piper took the offered hand, smiling awkwardly. Clara returned that smile, obviously trying to be friendly.

“I have so many questions right now,” she said mostly to Alex.

“Now’s not really the time…”

“So did you guys, like, get back together?” Clara asked excitedly, fully ignoring Alex’s last reply.

Alex and Piper exchanged a brief look, which Clara took the wrong way. “Oh, shit, have you two not talked about it yet? Did I just make this super awkward?”

“It was super awkward from the start,” Alex said, looking at her friend with an amused expression. “That’s what happens when you drop in unannounced.”

“I’m sorry, I was just getting worried you might do…” Clara shut her mouth as soon as she saw Alex’s reaction to her words. Piper didn’t quite catch the exchange that went between the two of them silently but something in Alex’s eyes made Clara shut up.

“And now I’m making it all worse, I’m so sorry,” Clara apologized, shaking her head nervously. “I mean I shouldn’t have brought that up, it’s none of my…”

“We are,” Piper cut her off, pulling the poor woman out of her misery. Piper knew she often had no filter but Clara was a brand new level of that, as it seemed.

“Sorry?”

“We are back together,” Piper said, looking at Alex as if seeking confirmation, even though she knew already. It just all felt so unexpected and surreal she had to make sure. Alex grinned, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer. Piper hugged her around her waist with one hand, leaning against her slightly.

“Oh, thank god,” Clara sighed in relief, looking at the two of them. “This would’ve been really awkward otherwise.”

“It already is,” Piper confirmed Alex’s words from before.

“You should’ve let her boil for a couple more minutes, Pipes,” Alex said, smirking again.

“You’re such an asshole, Vause, really,” Clara squinted. “Geez, you two are adorable. It’s disgusting.”

Alex laughed, shooting a glance at Piper who only smiled at her, kissing her on the shoulder.

“Well, I see you’re in good hands, well fed and everything,” Clara said. “I have to go back to work now. Just call me when you’re… not busy. Take care, kids. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“That doesn’t limit us much,” Alex pointed out.

“That was my point,” she raised her brows and smiled at Piper, winked at Alex and then turned on her heel, going to the elevator.

Alex didn’t wait for her to disappear, she just closed the door, leaning her back against it and looking at Piper.

“I’m so sorry about her,” she said as Piper rested her hands on Alex’s hips.

“It’s fine, she’s nice.”

Alex pulled Piper closer but didn’t even get a chance to kiss her as they heard another knock on the door.

“Fuck off!” Alex yelled through the door, rolling her eyes.

“I just wanted to wish you a good flight tonight, you asshole,” Clara shouted from the other side of the door jokingly. Then they heard her walk away.

Piper frowned. “You’re going somewhere?”

“Yeah, to Europe. I told you about it, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Piper suddenly remembered. She completely forgot about it over the events of the past few days.

“It’s just for the weekend. I’ll be back Sunday night.”

“When’s your flight?”

“Tonight at eleven.”

“Oh.”

“I can stay if you want,” Alex offered.

“No, no. I’ll be too busy anyway moving my stuff… somewhere,” Piper frowned, realizing she didn’t have any other place to go than here. She didn’t want to disturb Polly and flood her with her problems any more than she already had. And she most definitely couldn’t go to her parents’ house. Because that would mean telling them the engagement is off and that was something Piper would have to mentally (and alcoholically) prepare for first.

“Speaking of which,” Alex said, letting go of her and walking back into the bedroom. Piper followed her unsurely.

“I wanted to give you this before I leave,” Alex continued, disappearing in the closet. She looked through one of the drawers and took out something small she hid in her palm.

“What is it?”

“Well, I know we agreed on not living together but then again you have no apartment now, nowhere to go…”

“Gee, thanks,” Piper rolled her eyes. “You really know the way to a girl’s heart.”

“Let me finish, _dumbass_ ,” Alex chuckled. “I just want you to have this,” she opened her palm showing her a key. “So you can come here any time you want. You can stay here while I’m gone and you can move your stuff here for now till you find a new place.”

Piper stared at the key. “Are you serious?”

“Well, you said you wanted to get your stuff back this weekend but you don’t have a place to put them in, do you?” Alex smiled as Piper took the key from her hand.

“Thank you,” she said, hugging her tightly. As she pulled away, she kissed her on the lips slowly. Then she looked at the key.

“Is this what you were looking for earlier?”

“What? No, no, I was looking for my leather jacket. Speaking of, I think I might have forgotten my jacket at your place. Could you maybe look for it when you go there and bring it back unless, you know, your _fiancé_ burned it down?”

“Sure,” Piper laughed, closing her fingers around the key and kissing Alex once again.


	21. Chapter 21

Piper and Alex spent the rest of the day out, enjoying each other’s company and New York’s finest hot dogs. They ended up in the Central Park for most of the late afternoon. It was getting colder outside as the sun went lazily down. It was really the beginning of autumn. Alex noticed Piper was shaking a little in her light jacket – one of the things that was still actually Piper’s -, so she decided it was time to go somewhere warm.

“So,” Alex began, as she took Piper’s hand right after they got up from the bench they had been sitting on all afternoon. Piper smiled as their fingers tangled together.

“So?”

“What do you want to do next?”

“Don’t you have a plane to catch?” Piper looked at her with big eyes, nudging her playfully in her shoulder with her own. “We wouldn’t want you to miss it.”

“No, we wouldn’t.”

“Because if you did, I don’t think I would be able to sleep all night… from all the guilt, I mean.”

“Obviously,” Alex chuckled. “So we’re going back to my place?”

“You know, if you finish packing early, we’ll have some time…”

“Shut up or I’ll sprint there right now,” Alex grinned but she stopped, turning to Piper, wrapping her hands around her. It was like she couldn’t control herself and she just had to kiss her at that moment. So she did.

“It’s like three minutes from the Park anyway so…” Piper rolled her eyes jokingly when they pulled apart, Alex still holding her.

“I’m not really a runner. I’d probably collapse after like a minute.”

“Really? I never recall having endurance problems with you,” Piper lifted her brows. Alex smiled, kissing her softly on the lips.

“You’re in a good mood today,” Alex pointed out cheerfully as they started walking hand-in-hand again. She liked seeing Piper like that compared to the sobbing ball of mess she had been before breaking things off what that Perry-Jerry-whatever guy. Once the guilt of the break-up started leaving her, she lit up like a Christmas tree, like the sun in the sky and she was _so goddamn gorgeous_. Not that she hadn’t been before.

“I am, in fact,” Piper confirmed, looking at her.

“Happy that I’m leaving, are you?” Alex laughed. “God, are you already annoyed with me after two days?”

“Yeah, can’t wait to get rid of you,” Piper replied sarcastically, smiling. “No, you idiot, I’m just happy because…” she looked into Alex’s eyes and then she leaned against her, hugging her with one arm around her waist. Alex automatically put her own arm around Piper’s shoulder, Piper raising her free hand up to her shoulder to lace fingers with Alex’s again.

The look had said it all. Alex didn’t need any further explanations or big words. She knew Piper and she understood what she meant. So she smiled as well, running her thumb across Piper’s gently. She leaned in closer to her, kissing her temple.

“Me too,” Alex said quietly against Piper’s temple.

  

* * *

 

 

Piper went with Alex to the airport to do a proper goodbye. They would always do that before Alex had started taking Piper with her. Piper had always hated seeing her walk away, she would always wish she could come with and this time it wasn’t any different. Piper watched Alex walk through the first passport checks and proceeding to the security check area. Alex turned around couple times, always smirking or waving at Piper.

Alex left Piper one of her phones – drug smugglers need a lot of electronic devices such as phones and laptops, obviously – and before Piper even managed to find a way back outside to get a taxi, Alex was already calling her.

“Hey, kid,” she said and Piper could almost see her smiling.

“So… What did you forget?” Piper said, making her way outside, looking for a free cab.

“Other than you? Nothing, I hope.”

“Smooth, really,” Piper giggled.

“I shouldn’t have come. I should’ve stayed,” Alex sighed.

Piper remained silent, wishing the exact thing but not willing to ask Alex to do that for her. She already felt too needy with her being-homeless-issue.

“Pipes?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

 

* * *

 

 

Piper spent the weekend moving her stuff to Alex’s apartment. She even bought boxes to make it a proper moving out party. Only thing missing was Alex or at least a moving out buddy. Polly wasn’t feeling well because of the baby coming, so Piper left her and Pete alone. She had called Larry first to inform him about her moving out, even though it felt like kicking him while he was already down. Surprisingly, he sounded neutral. A little angry, maybe, but he was mature about the whole thing.

Alex called couple times – after Saturday morning finally on Piper’s own phone again – always just for a minute to check in because she didn’t have any time. She asked how Piper was doing and then complained about the lack of sleep and being too jetlagged from the time shift. As promised, she said nothing of her work, as if the whole purpose of her travel to Europe (Madrid this time, was it? Piper didn’t even remember) was just because. She told Piper she loved her and Piper told her back. Piper told her she missed her and Alex told her back.

It kind of felt like they were being too dramatic about the whole thing, considering it was just one weekend but none of them pointed it out because really it just felt like Alex had been gone for a month or more. Not just two days.

On Sunday afternoon, however, Alex called that her flight had been cancelled and she would have to wait till the morning to get on another one. Piper was deeply annoyed by the news because she was already missing Alex. It truly felt ridiculous after barely two days but Piper couldn’t help it. They were in the honeymoon phase of their relationship again, that time where they couldn’t spend a second apart, not to mention three whole days.

 

She got a text from Alex at two in the morning on Monday, confirming she got on the plane and didn’t want to wake Piper. Her plane was scheduled to land around noon. Piper was there thirty minutes before noon in case the flight was early. She checked the board, finding Alex’s flight immediately. At exactly 11:49am the flight from Madrid landed and Piper stood excitedly in the front row at the arrivals gate, waiting for Alex like for a savior to come out of there, her perpetual smirk on, saying something sarcastic or witty about their terrifyingly long time apart. But she didn’t show up.

Piper waited for twenty minutes, half an hour and gave up after hour and a half. She tried calling Alex but her phone was off. She went to the information desk and a lady made a weird face when asked about the flight but confirmed that it did, in fact, land, and all passengers have probably gone through customs by now. As she walked back to the arrivals, it was then when Piper noticed the blue police lights outside. There were at least four all black SUVs with blue lights driving by, followed by some more regular police cars. Piper watched them with her heart beating like crazy, already fearing the worst.

She called Alex again and again but her phone was still turned off. Piper started freaking out. After another hour or two waiting at the airport – and too many curse words later – she caught a cab back to the city, heading straight for Alex’s apartment. She almost expected the police cars to be there, too, but the street was the same as normal, no police in sight. Piper went up to the apartment, finding it empty, of course.

She tried calling Alex once more but it proved useless just like all the previous attempts. Finally, Piper just threw herself at the couch. At some point she must’ve fallen asleep.

She woke up the following morning early. Her body was sore and her head was throbbing. It all felt like a really bad hangover, except it wasn’t one. Piper remembered more than well yesterday’s events. Even though Piper refused to even think it, it had to have a connection to the police cars. Piper dialed Alex’s number again but with no result. She turned the TV on. She hoped to hear something about the police at the airport on the news and she was not wrong. It was the news of the day, apparently. Piper watched the TV numbly as she heard the anchorman’s voice.

“ _… several arrests had been made at the JFK airport yesterday… plane from Madrid… all of the suspects have been reported to be involved with Kubra Balik’s drug ring, including the drug lord himself…_ ”

Piper felt suddenly nauseous. Dizzy. She could barely hear the rest of the report.

“ _… carefully prepared operation… FBI co-operated with Interpol and local police… took months to organize… all of the suspects, including the leader, Kubra Balik, himself, have been charged with various offences and are to face a trial on… some of them could be facing a lifetime sentence…_ ”

She turned the TV off. Her head was spinning. She had to find out what happened to Alex. It was more than obvious now but Piper simply refused to believe it. But she didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t reach Alex. Alex probably couldn’t reach her. And Piper only waited for a knock on the door and the police marching in, confiscating Alex’s illegally claimed property. So Piper just waited.

But nothing happened.

Nothing happened for two whole, painful days.

On Wednesday, Clara stopped by, making Piper nearly jump out of her skin when she knocked.

“Oh, hey, Piper,” she said when Piper opened the door. Her voice was shaking. She was nervous and scared. Just like Piper. “Is Alex around? She’s not picking up my phone. Again.”

“You don’t know?” Piper frowned, nearly bursting into tears.

“Oh, shit. So they got her, too?” Clara caught her head, exhaling deeply.

“I don’t know,” Piper mumbled and finally broke. She started crying and couldn’t stop – couldn’t care to stop. Clara reflexively hugged her, barely holding herself together as well.

“Maybe she got away. Just can’t talk right now.”

“That’s not making it any better,” Piper sobbed into Clara’s shoulder. “Plus she told me she got on the plane, she texted me.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Clara repeated, comforting Piper clumsily. Then she pulled away, holding Piper’s shoulders as she looked into her eyes.

“Listen, I’m going to go find out what’s going on. I know Alex’s lawyer. I’ll stop by later, okay?”

“What if the cops come here?” Piper asked, tears falling down her cheeks still.

“What?”

“Well, it’s Alex’s. You know how she got money for it… I don’t know how this works but…”

“Oh, no, you’re fine here. The place is mine, I was just renting her. She has a smaller apartment in Brooklyn.”

“What? Really?” Piper was surprised but couldn’t really care at that moment. “Okay, fine, then I’ll wait here.”

Like Piper could even go someplace else.

“I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

 

Clara kept her promise, she was back that evening, bringing terrible news – or more accurately, confirming Piper’s worst fears and nightmares. Alex was among the arrested twelve people at the airport and was facing some serious jail time.

“The trial started today and it’ll be a long one. It’s a complicated case. They want to make sure Kubra stays behind the bars for the rest of his life, so they’re trying to make deals with the others. But nobody is that stupid. They won’t go against Kubra, that’s suicide, even if it meant walking out of that trial as a free person.”

“That’s crazy.”

“It’s a crazy business, I told Alex to get out while she…”

“Wait, so you aren’t… involved?” Piper frowned, confused. She assumed Clara was some part of the ring, considering she was best friends with Alex and dated a mule on top of that. Plus all her fancy, expensive clothes helped to feed that idea.

“No fucking way,” Clara shook her head. “I’m a lawyer actually.”

“Well, that’s…”

“Ironic, I know.”

“What about Malia? They didn’t arrest her, too, did they?” Piper asked stupidly, even though it would probably be the first thing Clara would say.

“No, she’s just a fucking mule, she doesn’t even know Kubra is her boss. Kubra doesn’t have a fucking clue about her. Most people in the ring don’t even know she exists. She’s nothing to them and to the cops, totally unimportant.”

“Good,” Piper mumbled, suddenly feeling the tears coming again.

“It’s going to be fine, Piper,” Clara tried to comfort her. “Alex’s lawyer is the best one there is. He’s going to get her out of it.”

“I’m not so sure.”

 

* * *

 

 

The following week was a torture. Piper waited for Clara to call every day – and she did. She was a good friend. She told Piper news – if there were any – about Alex’s case and tried to calm her afterwards. She stopped by couple times just to talk about it. Piper was very grateful to her for that because she couldn’t talk about it to anyone else. Nobody knew about Alex’s involvement with the drug cartel and Piper’s family and most of her “friends” didn’t even know about Alex.

Piper couldn’t focus on anything else. Alex’s arrest and trial consumed her life completely. She missed work. She missed her mother calling. And she missed Polly giving birth to her baby.

She got to the hospital the day after, Polly still looked exhausted but happy. Pete was there too. Polly noticed almost immediately something was wrong but Piper waved her off. Instead, she turned the focus back to Polly and Pete’s baby boy.

“So what’s his name?”

“Finn.”

“That’s so cute! And he’s cute,” Piper smiled at the sleeping baby in Polly’s arms.

“Yeah, he got that after me,” Pete grinned smugly.

“I just hope he doesn’t get your drinking habits as well,” Polly muttered.

“I don’t… I’m not…” Pete stuttered.

“How’s Alex, by the way?” Polly asked reluctantly because she wanted to avoid discussing Pete’s arguable tendency to alcoholism again.

“She’s…” Piper looked away. Luckily, she was rescued by her phone ringing in her purse.

“Sorry,” she mumbled as she retrieved it. It was Clara. She went into the hallway.

“Hey, any news?” Piper asked right after she picked up.

“She got six to seven years,” Clara answered. “Which is good, under the circumstances.”

“ _Good_?” Piper’s voice cracked. “She’ll be rotting in prison for six years and you call that good?!”

“It’s in minimum security and she can get out after three if her behavior is good. Considering the things she had done? Yeah, that’s fucking good, Piper!” Clara forced herself to sound cheerfully and Piper noticed, so she went along.

“You’re probably right,” she sighed finally. She’d have to look on the bright side. “It could’ve been worse.”

“Much worse,” Clara confirmed. “She could’ve gotten even double digits. But she co-operated, gave them some names, so they offered her less time. Of course, if she gave Kubra in, she could be a free woman right now. But she could also be a dead woman right now, so… Sorry. Making it worse, I know.”

“It’s fine. Did they assign her to a prison yet? When can I go see her?” Piper asked, looking through a window to Polly’s room. She was saying something to Pete and they laughed. _How could people laugh right now?_

“She’s in Litchfield, it’s not far from the city according to google. We can go visit this weekend, I mean… if I can go with you? I want to see her, too.”

“Of course, you’ve helped so much this past week,” Piper said. “Thank you, by the way.”

“Sure thing.”

Piper’s phone beeped, so she looked at the screen. “Hang on, I’ve got another call. We’ll talk later to agree on the details of the visit, yeah?”

“Alright. Hang in there, Piper.”

“Thanks, you too,” Piper hung up with that and picked up the other call.

“Larry?”

“Uhm, hey,” he said, sounding awkward as was his great habit lately.

“What is it?” Piper asked, trying to keep annoyance out of her voice.

“You got mail and, uh, it looks kind of important?”

“Does it say who’s it from?”

“U.S. District Court,” Larry said and Piper nearly dropped her phone.

“What?”

“It’s from the Court. I don’t know what it is, I haven’t opened it yet. Do you want me to…?”

“No, no. No! It’s fine. I’ll come and get it right now. Are you home?”

“Yeah, sure.”

 

* * *

 

 

The whole way to Larry’s apartment, Piper was preparing herself for the worst. With Alex and half of the drug ring on the trial, what were the chances of her name not being included at some point? But Piper’s ONE crime was such a long time ago. It couldn’t be… who would even remember that…

Besides, Clara said it. Mules weren’t important to them. Malia was fine as well and she did a lot more than Piper.

Piper knocked furiously on Larry’s door. He opened quickly, he was obviously awaiting her. He seemed nervous. It was the first time they saw each other since the break-up. But that was the last thing on Piper’s mind. At that moment, she even forgot she was once engaged to that man. That she lived at this apartment. She didn’t care about those things because they were irrelevant compared to Piper’s current problems.

“Hi.”

“Where’s the mail?” Piper fired rudely, not caring about her manners at all. Larry frowned and reached out for the table next to the door where they would always keep mail. He handed Piper the envelope right away.

“Thanks,” Piper mumbled, already ripping it opened.

“Is everything okay?” Larry asked, worried.

“Fine,” Piper said through clenched teeth, fighting the papers out of the envelope.

It was as if everything around had stopped. She read the words chaotically, not in order. It felt like she was in an actual nightmare.

_Indictment… The Grand Jury charges… Conspiracy… Drugs… Piper Chapman carried drug money… was part of the ring…_

Piper’s eyes landed on one sentence in particular. _Witness states Piper Chapman carried drug money._ It didn’t say the witness’ name but somehow, she felt like she knew.

_What did you do, Alex?_

_What the fuck did you do?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it, kids, that's the last chapter of this one! I hope you enjoyed it, I would love to hear some feedback!  
> And speaking of feedback, I would like to thank you all for the support, kudos, nice comments and just for reading! As I mentioned when I published the first chapter, this is my first ever published fic, it took me years to convince myself to upload something, so this was a huge step for me. And to receive such great feedback is just amazing and surreal to me!  
> So thank you so much! Hope I'll see you reading some of my other fics as well (assuming I stop being lazy and actually write some more, not that I don't have ideas, I have even already made graphic to one of my AU ideas :D).


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